Bitter Sweet

Test the water, lest it be to deep

Stay far away from me now,
dont try to taste these tears
for bitter they are.

Dont come close, stay clear from my darkened shadow
for only ice winds blow there
steer far from my rage, from this anger
for where once peace and tranquillity languished,
now hatred rules supreme

I gave you love
you took it
didn't look back as you shook it
begged me to come back, and I came,
only for you to say that I was to blame.

Go far away from me
lest I should perhaps harm thee
dont I pray pity me
for your sister is being
Oh so good to me!

Reviews

[MYSELF]

Linear,


A really thoughtful work...
keeping away from the darker side..
The lines:
I gave you love
you took it
didn't look back as you shook it
begged me to come back, and I came,
only for you to say that I was to blame.

were so touching and realistic that I could easily relate to the feeling contained..

Thank you for sharing such a great write..

Regards,

MYLIFE

[Gone]

Had to llaugh at the ending! I didn't expect it. excellent flowing rhyme too. Another cleverly formed piece of writing.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

HA-HA- the ending was bitter sweet! Love It!

[Sunny Skye]

What an ending. Very good very intresting poem.

[Ladysue]

wow, that was some ending...never saw that coming...sweet revenge..ouch...great flow to this...

[Angela Mulley]

I like the flow in this...

[luciddreamer]

oh what a beautiful slap in the face :)

Peace
Robin

[InkSlinger]

You always hook us with you closing stanzas.. a solid piece, capped off with twisting humor.. BTW... rumor has it, the sister gets around.. cover it up!

[xjust-for-me.x]

oh wow lol that last line gave me a surprise lol. very well written.

[OT]

haha the last line threw a great little twist at us!! nice and well written, structured too!!

[Crowley]

LOL.....that last line is hilarious, I was all ready for a morose and bitter ending instead here you are making out with the sister. I wonder what kind of issues that would ultimately cause, talk about family strife!...... Great writing, had a bit of a haunting lilt to it at least up til the end. Loved it.