Marie

Pure sillyness

Where did it go wrong Marie

We danced often in loves sweet ectasy

You said you were happy and laughed Marie

And you said you loved me, that it would last Marie

But he was younger, taller than me

his teeth were white, then you laughed at me

What did i do wrong my sweet Marie?

Bound in chains in prison Marie

You tossed your head and smiled at me

A twinkle in your eyes as you grinned Marie

Now in dungeons dark

will you wait for me?

For i'll see you in Hell for all eternity

Now that your dead my sweet Marie

Are you sorry you laughed at me?

Reviews

[.]

. well, well ... women, i tell ya ... even i don't understand them ... once my ex sister in law said ... when you meet a guy and he has 16 out of the 25 things you are looking for, you go for him ... then you meet someone who has 19 and you go for him ... i gaped with my mouth open ... anyway ... this is beautifully written ... plays like a song ... and the bitterness just emphasizes the sweetness and earnestness of the narrator ... super neat work, mister poet ...

[xjust-for-me.x]

Excellent write and the depth of dispair comes out of the words with great clearity....enjoye3d this very much.

[JanieB]

Thought provoking.

[Hush Hush]

A really beautiful poem, especially the three last lines captured me completely ,

"For i'll see you in Hell for all eternity
Now that your dead my sweet Marie
Are you sorry you laughed at me?"

[Day Dreamer]

That ending was very unexpected, but very well written. I loved this and even held my breath while I read this a few times. Keep writing! :)

[lifesmith]

This is so beautifully written. Your ability to illustrate emotion and capture it from the reader is amazing. I found myself holding my breath throughout this peace, and the ending, well, that was unexpected

[Marie Harrison]

Oh no, how could you kill me?
Ha! Still a great poem!

[Poetic Beauty]

Well the ending was not one that i was expecting. Quite shocking but well done. I like pieces that have a twist at the end.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Sad and heart wrench how people get hurt and then do harm to someone! Well written!

[Dewella~Vintella]

Ah, very sad and hear wrenching in the begging. The you come to the end, seeping into a bit of darkness. How jealousy can consume us sometimes, emotions ran high and long until you snap; Yet you can tell the love is still there, if only a little bitter sweet.

Wonderful job. ^^ Keep it up.

Vinny~