A Day to Remember

A day most go through

It had to come
The day I had dreaded for so long
I helped you pack your bag
You were leaving
My heart was bleeding

Trying to hide my tears
You looked so very beautiful standing there
There were tears in your eyes too
But you were being brave

How the years had flown by
It seemed like only yesterday
I first held you in my arms
Kissed you tenderly
Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be

Your fragrance enraptured me
Held me in your spell
You are divine

And now you are leaving me
Alone and desolate
Walking off into strange new worlds
To places you never dreamed
Making new friends

You looked back as you walked away
I saw the tears fall from your eyes
I hope you didn't see mine
It broke my heart to say goodbye




On this your very first day of school

Author's Note

Redone, hope you like it :O)

Reviews

[Drake Ryder]

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

[Zack Burton]

You write in the same style as one of my writer friends. It's something I don't see often, and I like it. Nice use of vocab, but I can't really connect with it (no surprise there). It's not bad.

[.]

that is always such a milestone..I had an inkling that it was a child as why would someone leave who loved you that much...lovely

[Ruth]

This is heart wrenchingly moving :)
Beautifully expressed love, a powerful poem for the emotions!
That day comes all too quickly, life just flies!
Wonderful work
xx

[Wondering Mind]

I've had that day twice, not much so for the boys. I know there will be the other days coming soon when they start nests of their own. I don't know how I'll feel then, but I'll definitely write about it, if I'm alive.

[.]

. ohhhh ... this is perfect ... i still remember my first day ... there was just nothing right with the world that day ...

[Aven]

they say a picture speaks louder than a thousand words... well this speaks louder than a thousand pictures... beautiful and sweet yet very moving!

[Ed Hart]

sweet, touching...takes me back...thank you