A Day to Remember

A Day to Remember

A Poem by Linear
"

A day most go through

"
It had to come
The day I had dreaded for so long
I helped you pack your bag
You were leaving
My heart was bleeding

Trying to hide my tears
You looked so very beautiful standing there
There were tears in your eyes too
But you were being brave

How the years had flown by
It seemed like only yesterday
I first held you in my arms
Kissed you tenderly
Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be

Your fragrance enraptured me
Held me in your spell
You are divine

And now you are leaving me
Alone and desolate
Walking off into strange new worlds
To places you never dreamed
Making new friends

You looked back as you walked away
I saw the tears fall from your eyes
I hope you didn't see mine
It broke my heart to say goodbye




On this your very first day of school

© 2011 Linear


Author's Note

Linear
Redone, hope you like it :O)

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Featured Review

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

aww that's so cute :L

Posted 13 Years Ago


oh I remember feeling this way...such a bittersweet moment...this flowed with great sentiment..wonderful...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it a lot. Most people do face this but it's very interesting to read.

Posted 13 Years Ago


i did like it, very interesting

Posted 13 Years Ago


what a sweet rendering of the bittersweet moment when we have no choice but to permit our little ones to begin to stretch their wings for eventual flight~

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice work on bringing this into such a visual effect through poetry...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's so good! and the picture is so cute!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

aww...how sweet, even if it's not the original.

It's like one big run-on sentence. I took that as representing just how fluid and fast life can go with kids.

It's like...you have a baby....then the next day it seems they're running through the pre-school door! Before you know it they'll be flippin you off as they run off to high school. Ahhh youth!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know this feeling. I took four children to school and drop them off with strangers. I was one of many standing and watching our babies taking their first step into life. I felt the same way at my youngest 9th grade introduction. My kids were getting older and soon a new journey for us parent. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1397 Views
37 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 8, 2010
Last Updated on March 30, 2011
Previous Versions

Author

Linear
Linear

United Kingdom



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