It had to come The day I had dreaded for so long I helped you pack your bag You were leaving My heart was bleeding
Trying to hide my tears You looked so very beautiful standing there There were tears in your eyes too But you were being brave
How the years had flown by It seemed like only yesterday I first held you in my arms Kissed you tenderly Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be
Your fragrance enraptured me Held me in your spell You are divine
And now you are leaving me Alone and desolate Walking off into strange new worlds To places you never dreamed Making new friends
You looked back as you walked away I saw the tears fall from your eyes I hope you didn't see mine It broke my heart to say goodbye
Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.
what a sweet rendering of the bittersweet moment when we have no choice but to permit our little ones to begin to stretch their wings for eventual flight~
It's like one big run-on sentence. I took that as representing just how fluid and fast life can go with kids.
It's like...you have a baby....then the next day it seems they're running through the pre-school door! Before you know it they'll be flippin you off as they run off to high school. Ahhh youth!
I know this feeling. I took four children to school and drop them off with strangers. I was one of many standing and watching our babies taking their first step into life. I felt the same way at my youngest 9th grade introduction. My kids were getting older and soon a new journey for us parent. A excellent poem.
Coyote
Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.
Dont worry if the sparrow chirps today,
Tomorrow the Nightingale shall sing
Judge me if you will, not on the words of another who may have their own agenda, but as YOU find me, as YOU .. more..