It had to come The day I had dreaded for so long I helped you pack your bag You were leaving My heart was bleeding
Trying to hide my tears You looked so very beautiful standing there There were tears in your eyes too But you were being brave
How the years had flown by It seemed like only yesterday I first held you in my arms Kissed you tenderly Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be
Your fragrance enraptured me Held me in your spell You are divine
And now you are leaving me Alone and desolate Walking off into strange new worlds To places you never dreamed Making new friends
You looked back as you walked away I saw the tears fall from your eyes I hope you didn't see mine It broke my heart to say goodbye
Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.
I felt..It was me...I felt the same when I , for the first time , went to the world of kids and knowledge...I wanted my mom to be by my side ..when the gang of kids played prank on me...Linear..Your flow of words are uncommon...make us in to your
character of "You " in your poem..I loved..and liked...and felt..I should be blessed with some more poems of yours...
Looking to hear more,..
Sanjeeta :)
This was beautiful! Never have had kids, but me and sis raised our neibors kids and we cried their first day of school, now their finishing school! Very well written.
This is great! It captures perfectly that moment when they start their journey away from home and parents and begin to make their way in the outside world. Very well done!
Awwwwwww! That is so cute! I just love this one! It really is strong. Almost makes me want to cry, and the kid's going to school, haha. Beautifull write.
Dont worry if the sparrow chirps today,
Tomorrow the Nightingale shall sing
Judge me if you will, not on the words of another who may have their own agenda, but as YOU find me, as YOU .. more..