In the quiet of a raging storm When the very heavens wrath awaits Listens and longs for you
Then with your eyes tightly closed as usual you will see all that you want to see yet you wont see me.
In the solace of your own mediocrity.... you will call dogs will howl as children scream but never will a tree shudder and fall silently for you or me
Now arise please open up those eyes look deep inside your mind will you now judge me?
Forever in your contempt look down on my seeming inequity, as the black leaves of wasted education crash lie with me, die with me for you will never hold me
Feel now if you may the open can that resides inside a heart that has never pulsated
Try now and open those blind crimson blasphemous eyes
I like this poem. A feel of revolution I could feel in these words. I like the question you ask in this poem.
"Now arise please open up those eyes
look deep inside your mind
will you now judge me?"
Complete poem is amazing. I like the strong ending.
Coyote
Brilliant compilation, certainly packing a powerful punch... strong emotion, interesting, expressive vocab and clever variations in rythm...
"...open can that resides inside a heart that has never pulsated" Ouch!!
I believe this is the first piece of yours that I have read. So bear in mind I may not be well versed in your style or what themes seem to fester beneath the verses. I can tell you I very much liked this line:
In the solace of your own mediocrity
because it was a great transition from the first two verses, much like camera turning to the film maker and blinking expectantly. It also reminded me a little of Lester Bangs and his theory of the long journey to the middle. Christ, is anyone old enough to know who Lester Bangs is? I don't think I am even old enough to know. Anyhow,
the over-riding sentiment that I take from your words is one of vitriol and hope, which is a difficult combination that you've made work here.
Very good poem! Very powerful and punchy imagery... storm/argument. The varying structure is great and compliments the varying tempo of storms and conflict. Greatly illustrative!!!
. re-visiting ... and it's an absolute marvel ... this write of yours speaks like a proclamation ... loved it even more the second time ... "in the solace of your own mediocrity" ... remains my favourite line ...
First off I love the font....it looks so retro. The words are edgy and have a bitter punch that takes me to a one sided relationship filled with a one sided emotional existence. I can identify. Great stuff, loved it.
Dont worry if the sparrow chirps today,
Tomorrow the Nightingale shall sing
Judge me if you will, not on the words of another who may have their own agenda, but as YOU find me, as YOU .. more..