Chapter 3

Chapter 3 to "Pearson", my new novel.

When I was four, my mother died. It wasn’t one of the TV special drowning-at-sea ordeals. It was quiet and passed quickly, and ten years later I barely remember it. She had cancer, and after two years of treatment she passed away peacefully during her sleep.

            I’m sure I was upset at the time, but truthfully my mother is a distant memory. I remember that she was a journalist for The New York Times, and wasn’t home very often- most of her time was spent in her office in New York City. I remember she was usually stressed and serious, and never had much time for joking. But what I don’t remember, my father does.

            Her passing was the hardest on him. In fact, he was in denial for a good three years. Until I turned seven, things around the house were tough. My father spent most of his time cooped up in his bedroom. He called his sister, Aunt Caroline, to come and take care of me, and we spent our time eating frozen dinners and watching Aunt Caroline’s favorite soap operas on the television set.

            When I turned seven, things changed quickly. It was as if someone shook my father’s shoulders and told him to wake up. He got a job at the mining company near our neighborhood, and went to work during the day drilling and drilling underground. I couldn’t imagine doing that all day, but my father said it gave him something to focus on. And I guess after all the things that had happened, he just wanted his mind to relax on one simple job. One step at a time.

            Three months ago, things really changed. My father went to work one day, exhausted and poor, and came home rich. When I say rich, I mean rich. I mean rolling in piles of cash. Because when my father was drilling, after eight solid years of nada, the Gods decided to reward him.

            He found gold.

            That’s when my life went from bad to good. I stopped eating porridge for every meal, wearing dark grey clothes two sizes too small to school, and moved into a mansion on the corner of Long Island. It was my new home, and I loved it. Down the street was a church that played beautiful bells three times a day; my neighbors were all happy families with golden retrievers and little children; my father started to spend time with me, real time, instead of coming home and going straight to sleep. Things were perfect. Until my Dad started getting some crazy ideas.

            I speculate he felt guilty, after a long time of bad parenting. It was true; I had spent the better part of my childhood making my own meals and walking to school, three miles each way, all by myself. To make up for all the years of nothingness, he wanted to reward me. Too bad his idea of rewarding me was shipping me off to Switzerland.

            “I’ve heard nothing but good reviews about this school,” he told me on the way to the airport, driving me in our sleek black BMW that was only a few weeks old. “And I think you’re going to love it. Just imagine- you can do chemistry homework a few feet away from the Swiss Alps.”

            Of course it sounded nice. Of course I wanted to go to a private school, with fancy uniforms and indoor swimming pools; I just didn’t want to go to one in Switzerland. Things were finally starting to get better at home, and I didn’t want to leave them right as they were warming up.

            But I had to. I had to do it for my father, with his big brown eyes, who I loved despite everything. So I packed my bags and boarded Flight 023 to Switzerland, Valley Academy, and my new future, leaving all the things that mattered behind.

Reviews

[Bailey C. Writing]

I agree with daydreamer. This was kind of an info dump, sorry :P The way you explained it was written well, but daydreamer had a good angle: have Holly act or do something a certain way and maybe have her explain this later? Or put this earlier on in the beginning maybe? Hmm. I do think this needs some work, to make it not info-dumping.

[T. Logan]

I like this, but not as chapter three. it could be A) A prologue B) The first chapter, or C) wedged into other chapters as she's telling somebody why she's here.

[BillyGirl]

It might've been best to have written this into chapter 1 or a prologue, but it's still a good read, and helps to better know the character/narrator a bit better.

[Harley (arbiter)]

It was good. Personally I don't mind an info dump but I'm weird. Also what kind of BMW? Ok joking I'm a car guy so eh. And most people don't like the info dump so id change it. Don't listen to me on how though! Keep going good work

[Lindsay T]

Thanks for the advice, I'll try re-writing passages of it. Would you say that I have a decent writing style while trying to explain the information, or am I being too "fact-heavy" and not having enough creativity in my style?

[Daydreamer54]

This was an info dump, instead of explaning this stuff to early, have the character act a certain way and then later explain to us what happened in her past. and then only give us snapshots at a time.