A new Atlantis

It wasn't the breathing so slowly that bothered him most. He'd grown accustomed to that., that and the coldness of water filled lungs.
Not being able to see for any distance was also a loss he put up with.
The worst, apart from talking clearly. was the inability to move anything with any semblance of speed. The constant frustration was driving him insane.
Callie on the other hand, seemed to be adapting with her usual equanimity. Nothing phased her.
She was taking to this fish life as if she'd been born to it.

Sex was as incredible as ever, in fact it was better. It seemed to last forever. Maintaining an upright position as they wandered through the maze of sunken streets was no easy task. Days later he realized they were almost on all fours for most of the time.
He wondered what they would evolve into after fifty generations. His hearing was developing into his main sense. There was so much noise. They had reached the point where sight was almost unneeded except for extremely close interaction.
The highly oxygenated water retained most of the characteristics of its former self, in fact it seemed to enhance one's hearing more than the original denser form had allowed. Maybe his inner ears balanced his equilibrium to a lesser degree than needed, freeing his senses to decipher the distance of sounds. Whatever it was it was certainly an advantage over his father's abilities under water, breathing air.

Reviews

[Valerie Jones]

I really enjoy the concept of the transformation and the need to adapt to this new (and apparently unexpected) environment. Great creative waters flowing over there!

Now I would concentrate on revising a few points. There are typos and punctuation errors that I am sure with a quick revision will make the piece flow much more smoothly.

I would also suggest breaking the paragraphs with spaces, that way it eases the transition from one thought to the next.

I applaud your science snippet integrated into the piece, in this sentence: "The highly oxygenated water still retained all the characteristics of its former self, in fact it seemed to enhance one's hearing more than the original denser form had allowed." yet there seems to be a small contradiction - if the water retained all the characteristics of its former self, then how could it be different from the original? The concept makes a jump of unidentified information to be swallowed by the reader in more assumption than understanding.

I enjoyed this piece, again... very creative and interesting. :) Great writing for the challenge! By the way, the link didn't post well on the thread, I'll try to fix that ;)

[Blackbirdsong]

Donald I think you should definitely consider expanding this into a longer story because what you have here is really interesting. I want to know what happened and what's going to happen. So please consider it because this is quite good. Your descriptions, the world you've created here, oh yes write some more please.

[Yira Simone]

This made me think of mermaids for some reason. I kept thinking of the freedom that the persons in the poem must of felt to be able to breathe and move without restraints. I would love to have that type of freedom for a day! LOL I liked the way you showed that it was freeing to be able to try something new and that we need to use all we naturally have to live life to the fullest. Catrina

[Rain]

Perhaps this piece is why people flock to the sea. It's like going home. Standing by the sea has always brought me peace, almost as if I'd returned to the womb. Great piece. Rain..

[Gandré]

To me, this was a fantasy about the life after life. I enjoyed the text, your imagination unrestricted and I can feel such a situation, like everything would be swirling, dancing. Dying as an illusion and life after life in water, I like it.

[Ed Hart]

"some say the world will end in fire/some say ice..." meanwhile, anyone for a swim? he said on porpoise...