They Shall Not Pass

Challenge 5 answered

He drove his lance into the ground
They shall not pass he swore
Then stood feet spread without a sound
Prepared to swim in gore

They'd been a hundred young and grand
Ninety nine now rode no more
He stood alone on bloody sand

They shall not pass he swore

They found him there at dawn alone
Surrounded by a score
His uniform was bloody red
Standing still beside his lance

They shall not pass he swore

His horse stood too with bloodied hooves
He had not been alone
A hundred lancers sat in awe
Saluting as they rode

They shall not pass he swore

His sword and knife dripped bloody gore
Upon the burning sand
His eyes were closed his hands hung down
He leaned upon his lance

They shall not pass he swore

The two had danced a deadly stand
and held the foe at bay
Unyielding to a fearsome foe
They'd fought to see another day

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Chilling! I liked your emphasis on how bloody the battle had been; it seems that those knights that are saluting the victor aren't necessarily doing so out of respect, but more out of fear. You really managed to capture a sense of desolation and gore without even having to describe the battle itself; just the aftermath alone does the trick. I can't help but wonder, though - what was the knight guarding that was worth the spilling of so much blood?

My only slight critique is that I think it would be a little clearer if you added quotation marks around each "They shall not pass" since "they shall not pass he swore" all by itself could breed a little confusion. :-)

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

Cool. I haven't read too many medevil setting poems. I like it.

Dave

[AK]

I love epic tales of gallantry and courage. This one is beautifully done indeed!

[Emily B]

Heroism at its grand old best. With all the blood and gore that go along with that. Reminds me of the grand old masters. Great write.