Wintry Walk

Scaredy cat

Hunching in my shoulders trying to close my ears
I feel my navel tighten as I suck in all my fears
Concentrate on breathing warmth into my inner fold
Touch of headache starting as I'm fending off the cold
It starts at fingers endings and travels up my arms
The headache being the cost of using simple charms
I soon release the tension and enjoy the ransomed heat
Walking slower now and concentrating on the moment
I catch a house cat watching from a window in the sun
And see her feel my hello touch as I continue on
A startle of acknowledgement at another's gifted sight
How long will she remember as I walk away from night?
Smiling at the errant thoughts that occupy my brain
I pull my hat brim lower and hope to beat the rain

Reviews

[Vanessa Whiteley]

The beginning is very immediate and pulls you right into the poem. I like the rhythm but you seem to lose it a little on this line 'The headache pays the price for using simple charms'

[emmajoy]

There's a see-saw kind of meter to this, it flows but seems to move with your walking ...

Amazing what a walk will do for you, amazing where it takes you.. even births a poem about cat and man meeting on a dubious night... 'And see her feel my hello touch as I continue on .. A startle of acknowledgement at another's gifted sight '

There's a smile in me now.. i so love the painting you've created with your words.

[Phibby Venable]

i enjoyed the wit and insight of this.

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

great write....I even enjoyed the awkwardness of flow because it gives the feeling of a storm and the rush that a coming storm causes. Well done!

Cheers!
FF

[Tomás Ó C..]

I love the rhyme in the poem and it flows very well...

[Blackbirdsong]

I love this Donald, though I wish the rhyming couplets were consistent throughout. The place where you didn't rhyme stuck out to me a bit, but not enough to detract from the rest of the poem. It was just a bit jarring is all. :)

[Gandré]

With this you are offering wonderful reflections.

I thought, I send this:

Clothed with his breath, and looking, as he walked,

Larger than human on the frozen hills.

He heard the deep behind him, and a cry

Before.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
English poet
On one side lay the Ocean,
and on one Lay a great water

[Sel Whiteley]

Wow, those last lines are stunning. You really capture the relationship between you and the cat. What the cat makes of you:

How long will she remember as I walk away from night?
Smiling at the errant thoughts that occupy my brain
I pull my hat brim lower and hope to beat the rain

The phrase 'enjoy the ransomed heat' shows those brief intermittent sparks of warmth so beautifully.