Pa-pa-pa-pagan God!

Just a reflection...and I was going for an allusion to "Chi-chi-chi-chia!"

 

My neighbors are going to make a little pagan god

With the Anne Coulter make-a-god-kit they bought

At Albertsons. It was two for one, but just got the one.

 

They’ll make him out of ground pummis and spit;

They’ll blow on the muddy mound to make him breath

And live as if he had done so for an eternity plus one.

 

He’s going to clap his little godly hands and turn on

The lights (they have a Clap-on) and in seven seconds

Built a scale model of the solar systems (including Pluto).

 

I know their sons and daughters will draw portraits of him

And write thoughtful passages and poems, but my neighbor’s

Will probably misinterpret the crayola scrawls on the page.

 

They’ll train the little deity to hate Mrs. Silverman (I love her

Rugelach), Adam and Steve (the ones with the house at the end

Of the street), and perhaps even the stranger who passes by.

 

The clouds seem ash-dark; I can already tell it’s going to rain

Fire. Mrs. Alotta is sitting on her lawn, turning back to her husband.

Her legs are numb, from sitting lotus style, and getting crusty with salt.

 

I find the population of grasshoppers is increasing, and yesterday

I ran over five frogs along the back alley as I drove out to school.

My sister’s got the chicken pox and my oldest brother’s quite ill.

 

And my neighbors sit in their den, fascinated by their creation

(I can see into their house; they carelessly left their shades up).

Soon, they’ll walk him all round the neighborhood making us pet him.

 

Meanwhile, through a hole in the clouds, a small ray of sunlight

Descends upon my front lawn, so small yet enough to make the

Spot seem like noon. And I remember to pray my morning’s prayer.

 

(God is somewhere up there, there were God is and was and will,

Away from deity craftsmen, away from hermeneutical pastimes,

Being the God God is. Being and feeling us be, eternally conscious.)

 

They’ve finished putting him together and have him in the backyard,

Making him jump hoops while standing still and tossing logic

So he’ll fetch it and burry it underneath the dried out pansies,

 

As the first fire-flake slowly singes their perfect white roof.

Reviews

[AnonymousScribe]

I had a very long and elaborate comment written, but then I screwed it up by hitting the back button. Anyway, I enjoyed the poem but I cant help but misunderstand a few major portions. Perhaps you can toss in another stanza or two explaining the personalities and motives of your neighbors. I also dont understand exactly what the pagan God is (though i'd like to.) At first it seems to be a plant or a model assembly kit (assuming I never read your chia comment.) and then it seems to be a pet of sorts. Am I reading it wrong?

None the less, good job.

[shel]

i don't know how you come up with this stuff. this is SO clever.
the only (VERY minor) thing i think you could cut is 'clap-on', because as soon as you said 'turn on the lights', it made sense...unless you're trying to emphasize the commercial/manufactured thing by using a brand name.
i loved the way you tossed in 'including Pluto'. I love the whole thing, really.

This stanza in particular...the imagery is fantastic, and the line break is really effective.
The clouds seem ash-dark; I can already tell it's going to rain
Fire. Mrs. Alotta is sitting on her lawn, turning back to her husband.
Her legs are numb, from sitting lotus style, and getting crusty with salt.

OK, and these lines--
'Soon, they'll walk him all round the neighborhood making us pet him.'
'Making him jump hoops while standing still and tossing logic'

the grasshoppers, driving over frogs...this is just great, all the humor you manage to weave into it, along with the clever jabs at bigotry and arrogance. and then a serious moment of reflection, where you seem almost saddened or disappointed on God's behalf for their idolatry...which might not have worked (the tone shifts so much) but you swing back to the jabs and subtle humor at the end, so it works.
can i borrow your brain, like just for a day, lol? i think you should send this somewhere.