sexxx and cartoons

i won't give anything away. but i'm extremely proud of this poem. and the ending is beyond amazing. i really hope you like it =]

the addiction runs along the course of her dark pink lips

to the edge of her nicotine indoused smile

puffs of smoke and the smell of tabacco

causes her veins to run wild as his hand slides up her shirt

 

he kisses her on the neck while caressing her back

he bites her lip and pulls her back into the days they were together

the passion runs cold and heartless

as their intentions are both the same

 

she bites his neck leaving her mark

he has a need for pain and abuse something she can give too well

they lay a trap for eachother as they push their pelvis' togehter

in an act of passion, lust, and undenible desire

 

romance is no factor as he holds her close to his bare chest

the cartoons continue to play halloween theme'd shows

the lust begins to fade, along with the desire

as they slip out of the trance affection held on them

 

he kisses her goodbye

and that was the last time i heard from him since

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

I enjoyed the parallelism of the Halloween cartoons and the casually callous sex -- "the passion runs cold and heartless" -- the use of the word "affection" a giveaway that tho' the sex is not romantic, neither is its quasi-indifference all that serious.

Halloween cartoon coupling, in other words.

One wonders what cartoons were on the tube, since the "cruelty" has a cat and mouse quality, almost innocent, amusing.

Then, as you own up to "I" at the end, it's as if you were watching yourself engage in Halloween cartoon carousing, even as the Halloween cartoons were on.

Meow! -- this poem is catnip! ;-)

[Kelley]

Again I think your writing style is great but kind of cold at the end.
Full of passion and the description was fun, but why must we end
with .......

"and that was the last time i heard from him since?"

anyway keep up the great work amelia and thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Last Lying Look]

I like this.
Though it's sad.
He used her.
You wrote about this very well.
I really love how you change the font text on some words.
Great write.
-E.R

[nostal]

Cool.

[Spat Queen]

I'm taking a risk here stating that I like the mystery here, as to what the voice in the piece has in the way of her opinion towards the man she is speaking of. To me the tone says, "what a pig, but I saw that coming." This piece interests me.

/the passion runs cold and heartless
but their intentions are both the same/

My interest lies in the message it conveys, almost involuntarily, that states how a woman seems almost obligated to excuse herself for this behavior, while a man need not mention the event even taking place, as if it is expected anyway. Great read.

[Wildecat]

A wonderful poem, very descriptive and a pleasure to read.

[peace SiGN./index DOWN.]

i love it.
so descriptive.
i love the passion in your words.
in the story.


keep up the good work.
looking forward to read more.