grandfather, grandfather

this is about my grandfather, my dad's father, who i never got to meet. he was an alocholic, and died of liver failure, and i was just inspired by him.

sometimes i wonder what my life would be like
if you had stuck around
if you weren't found in that hotel room
with only one hundred dollars to your name
and a suitcase of clothes

 

i wonder if you would have made me a better person
if your stories would have affected my life
expecially the story on how you got your purple heart
when it actually took an effort to get one
not like it does today, where all you have to do is know how to walk around

 

i wonder how close we would of been
if you would have loved me, and liked who i was and who i am
i wonder if when we moved, you would've called me
if i would love you as much as my dad did

 

i wonder what you looked like
before you died, before she passed, and your life went down hill
the only picture i've seen of you, is a picture from your teen years
it may be in black and white and covered in dust
from being where my dad spends most of his time
everytime i dust it off, i can't help but to smile at the face looking back

 

he's a young man, with short combed over hair
all dressed up in a suit, and shiney shoes
he's standing outside, with a volin in hand
with an expression i see too many time in the photographs of my father
the face thats returning a straight face look
makes me wonder, if he stuck around, would he smile

 

i couldn't tell you if we look anything a like
or even if our personalities are even a little similair
i don't know if he was like my father, who never talked to people he didn't know
if he was cranky when he got over heated

but the few things i do know, may not be a whole lot
but they're all i really have, of an image of a man, i never got to meet

 

he was a purple heart soilder, who truely risked his life for others
he deserved that purple heart, not like some of the people who get them today
he was a medic in world war two, and a brave one at that
he played the volin, and was good at it
he married a beautiful woman, whom i never got to meet
he had a stable career, he worked on a train, as the lookout
his father drove trains, so he was following in his footsteps
he had two sons, my father, and an older son named chris
his wife had a miscarriage, with a baby boy, who my dad would of called his little brother
he became an alocholic after his wife died, i'm not sure if thats what drove him to the booz
he wore all black, along with his mother,  to my parents wedding, because my dad's grandma, didn't like my mom at first
he died in a hotel room, with only one hundered dollars to his name, and a few clothes
his liver failed, due to all the liquour, he wasn't even that old

 

but over all
he was a good man, he was and is, my grandfather
part of me says that i do love him, even though i have no memories to hold on to
but i have the few stories my father will tell me, when i get the courage to ask
about this one of two touchy subjects
he was beautiful too, a very handsome man, before the liquor took over

 

the other part hates him, because he gave up on life
and let booz take over his life and take his life
he never even thought about his grandchildren
of me,  even though i wasn't concieved, he didn't think about my dad
about how much my dad loved him, and wanted him to meet his children, or child
this part hates him because, i never got to meet him, i never got to hear stories
i never got to smell his scent, even if it was booz and the scent of a bar
he didn't stick around to become my grandpa, and be my dads father

 

i wonder if he would of stopped drinking, if he would of lived long enough to hold me in his arms
i wonder if he would have held a newborn baby girl
his first granddraughter and thought
"she's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, she'll grow up to do amazing things, and i want to stick around to see her accomplish those things"
i wonder if he would have lived, if only, he'd stuck around to meet me

Author's Note

there might be a few misspelled words, and a few missing words. there's not much puncuation, and capilization.

Reviews

[Looouise]

i wonder if he would have lived, if only, he'd stuck around to meet me

amazing.
emotional.

I think that was a really good write.
Although you never knew him, it's almost as if you really did know him.
If you catch my flow.
Amazing.