i miss you

I stare at a picture of you,
and a liquid comes streaming
down my cheeks.
I miss you,
i miss everything about you.
And yet this anger builds up
inside of me.
I hate you,
i hate you for leaving me.
I hate you for not saying i love you.
the small anger quickly burns into a
rage.
and yet somewhere deep inside,
i can't fully hate you.
i love you more than
words could ever say.

there are so many
questions.
i just don't understand.
You helped me when i needed
it the most, and yet when you
need someone, you turn away.
there isn't a day that goes by,
that you aren't on my mind.
i remember all of stupid fights,
i remember all of the "I love you's"
i remember everything about you.

Your voice is fading,
your smell has faded from
my stuffed animals.
i'm starting to forget small details.
i just need you to come back to me.

I'll see you one day.
I hold onto that,
when i finally see you,
i will be home.
I will be in your arms once again.
Until that day,
I know, you are looking down
on me from Heaven.

Author's Note

this is raw. just my pure honest emotions. ive got bottled emotions from this one incident and havent let them go. so it may not be good or totally understandable, i will work into that. but this is just purely releasing bottled up emotions right now.