(Chapter 1) September 15th

Rain was hammering down, as expected of typical British weather in September time. I had my hood up from my sports jumper and was sat outside the front of my school, a sixth form high school college, right in the heart of a cul-de-sac of houses in my town Kingston. It’s a rather small town, just on the west coast of Britain, hidden from the rest of world. This being my newest choice of deployment with my mother, although, I spent many of my childhood years here, which is a nice comfort.

The fondest memories I have of Kingston all are of my closest childhood friend; Ashley, a girl the same age as me. I only knew her from parent arrangements, her mother was a close worker with my father in his company and not to mention we were neighbours for a short while, before I moved away of course. We were in similar boats even from when we first met: I was six she was six, my parents were divorced her parents were divorced, I lived only with my father she lived only with her mother, you get the idea.

My father had gained full custody of me from the early age of four when my parents divorced; Ashley on the other hand never even met her father as he left some time after her birth. My mother had already a new man lined up for her and so she was off, left Kingston with her new lover in a blink of an eyelid. It’s ok though, I liked living with my father. Or at least, I liked living next to Ashley. We lived up the top of a very long narrow country road, off the main line that runs through Kingston, with two brick detached houses just diagonally opposite each other. Making it even better, we lived not far from a cliff face, just a minute walk from our houses. We used to run past the houses, down a stubborn rocky path into and past the bushes and there it was. It was beautiful. At night you could see the whole of the lights of Bridgewater. A whole city, lit up just for us.

At around the age of nine I was forced to move, my father had some business in America, said he was going to go global and my life would be great, I’d love it more than here in Britain. He lied.

I’ll have to admit, he was a brave man for breaking the news to me for I wasn’t keen to go quietly, especially after I heard the news. Ashley wasn’t coming with me. I assumed she would, I was young, we were inseparable and not to mention her Mother and my Father were very close and worked together; we were practically family. I think I threw the biggest tantrum of my life that day. I promised to keep in touch and promised to come back for her.

My father took me to California, where apparently ‘all the business was’. A year later we moved to Boston…Then to Los Angles, then to Miami, then to New York. Every time we got somewhere, my father would whisk me off to someplace new always saying ‘this was where the business was’. It was difficult to keep letters to Ashley, even she grew tiresome. My longest stay was in New York, just under two years. Ashley had moved too, only in Britain though, her mother and she had moved to London so her mother could run the business in Britain more efficiently. But she promised as soon as I got back to Kingston she would too.

I never like reminiscing over the past. It only ends up one way or another; me upset, or angry or most likely both. I never understood why I deserved to be punished so much in my life. I never understood why life decided to be cruel to me. I guess I probably never will.

My phone started to buzz.  

I was so induced in my thoughts that I hadn’t actually realised how soaked I was. My jeans heavy from the torrential rain, my jumper completely soaked even my hair was slightly damp. I didn’t really care, I had already got wet from the light rain earlier from the moment I had sat on the damp wooden bench. But I must have been here longer than I thought. I slid the phone from my trouser pocket and decided to see who was calling.

Mother. I knew sooner or later she would finally call.

May as well get it out of the way now.  So reluctantly, I decided to answer. 

“Larry! Thank god you’ve finally answered. I’ve been calling you all afternoon.” Liar.  I may have been stuck in my thoughts all afternoon but I knew she never called. Surely she knew this.

“Sorry. Must be the rain, I didn’t get your calls...” There was no point arguing with her after all, she knew damn well she didn’t call, all she wanted was for me to feel guilty and come home.

“Where are you? I’ve been worried sick. Please come home now.” Told you.

Her slowed tone of voice didn’t fool me. Right now she was probably huddled up with her newest choice of boyfriend on the sofa watching T.V. However, there was a slight problem you see with my mother’s guilt trip plan. I wasn’t planning on coming home; there was nothing left for me there.

At the age of fourteen my father had taken me back home to Kingston, and he had in fact ‘made it big’ as he always said he would. He proclaimed his company had ‘made a storm’ in New York and they loved him so much that he was already making big money with his new partners. At first I thought he was lying to make up for his constant travelling for the past five years but he had indeed made it big and was already bringing four figures a week.        

Wow.

Every teenagers dream to have a rich parent, one who will give you lots of money and buy you anything you could ever dream of, my father offered this all to me and I wanted none of it.

As soon as we arrived in Kingston I had found I wasn’t returning to my old home and my father had sold it before we left. This didn’t actually bother me so much because I knew Ashley would have sold her house too; it wouldn’t have been the same without her. Want to know what really bothered me both about my father and my return to Kingston?

I was being given over to my mother.

My father had proclaimed that he was going to be spending all his time in America now and would be too busy to look after me. Which I guess you could say is a fair point, but I still didn’t want to be left in the care of my mother. From that moment I didn’t want anything to do with father’s money; he could give it to me but I wouldn’t spend it. I don’t think I could ever forgive him for giving me back to her.

Father brought us an apartment in one of the buildings overlooking the beach. It was nice to say the least; balcony, double rooms, bathroom en-suite, the list goes on. It wasn’t a huge apartment but it was cosy and it felt like home. Well almost.             

Ashley had kept her promise and was also back in Kingston within the next day. Her and her mum had brought a house in one of the inner cul-de-sacs and I’d visited often of course. It felt welcoming and like home. My Home. We exchanged a long heart warming hug as soon as we saw each other; I had agreed to meet at her new home and help unpack her things. It felt good to have her back, to have my friend back, there just are certain things you cannot contain within a letter or email to someone, no matter how hard you try it’s never the same.

She had grown tremendously over the years. She was beautiful in every right; deep blue eyes, long flaxen blonde hair and now only a head shorter than me. But there was also the real her, the inside, which was more than anything the outside could account for. She was special I will say that much.

“Larry?”                        

I’d done it again. Shifted into my thoughts, my memories.

“Oh sorry. Look... I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be coming home.” I didn’t understand why those words were so difficult to say, I’d wanted to for months now.         

“Larry I know you haven’t handled your Father and Ashley well but you have to get a hold of yourself at one point or another. Please don’t end up like them. Come home. Now.”

Look at her pretending to care.                           

I didn’t want to lose my temper but I could feel it coming. Or maybe it was tears; I always get those mixed up. Not that I would be able to tell anyway, it was still raining.

Author's Note

Any suggestions are welcome - Looking for any improvement necessary :)

Reviews

[Ami N.]

The plot definitely sounds fascinating, however, I do have some critiques. First of all, I find that, at times, you tend to drone on, so to speak, and lose the readers' attention. Instead of describing and pulling the readers in to the story, you're doing more of the 'telling.' Also, another point that you might want to take into consideration is to use a little less of the pronouns and more of the person's name. I found it a little hard to keep up and know who you're talking about when (throughout the paragraph) you use 'she' or 'her'. Again these are just my suggestions; feel free to disregard.

I'm definitely looking forward to reading more, and overall, I believe this is going to be a very interesting story :)

[Elle Telorve]

with how this is writen i'm starting to loose interest. you stray off from the point for too long. it's okay to do once, maybe twice, but you have to put something important in between them otherwise it messes with the flow of the writing making it harder to read. you also say what Larry is feeling, you have to make the reader feel it by what you say.

[Heromen Selena]

Yeah I agree with Ami N. The point of the first couple chapters is to introduce the characters, but at times it can get boring. It might be a good idea to let the reader find out about the main characters life as you tell the story. Incorporate in with in the story line and it won't be so explanatory. Other than that though it seems fantastic. Reading the next chapter now :)

[GirlWithAHeart.]

loved it! can't wait to read the rest!

[Daring Darling Didi]

Oooo! Wonderful first chapter! I'd stop to write a longer review but this is great - is this your first write? - all I want to do is keep reading.

[Gretchen Clarke]

Wow, this is even better than the prologue! I like the fact that you gave Larry a rebelious streak, those things always make stories and the like way more interesting!

[StruckByLightning]

An intriguing plot, nice word usage, great detail on imagery, this is a great chapter to start off with.