I wont pretend..

Our poem :) takes one to write a great poem but it can take 2 to write a better one

I will never pretend to love you

my hearts always been within your reach

though it moves too purely to be held

if only it were my heart that you seek

I will never pretend to compromise

I would give you my life

like the lion lies down with the lamb

at the mercy of the one whom I thought could do no wrong

the one whom swallowed everything like the sea

the only one whom could make me feel such misery

like a cold flower raining over my heart

I wont pretend I'm your love

I won't pretend I love you

Reviews

[EMMIE]

strong and emotional with so much meaning

[Shy Girl]

This was quite complex of a back and forth almost. You could feel, or rather I could sense as I read this underlining need to cry. The heart wants to be loved but finds that it isn't enough to hold the object it desires. (I think) Our mind won't give much even if our hear breaks in two...but I wonder if the heart couldn't be stronger than the mind in these cases of want, need and yearning. Hmm...something to ponder as I figure out my own heart.. I liked this very much...I like the thoughts from one line to the next...I love the vulnerabitity to the piece. :)

[Monique]

this is awesome, good job!

[ggephart]

I like how the speaker is so independent. This isn't a damsel in distress poem, which I really like. I think you should be using who where you are using whom, though.

[WiLL i e]

Well done. Uncompromising, honest, true to self, and strength to carry on. Much love saved for the next one who comes along.

[Kyla H]

Very emotional, I love your flow of words. (:

[Michelle_H]

Good poem

I really like how you conveyed the emotion of this poem.

[Roe]

Such strong words.... Full of emotion.. Lovely write

[Nautili]

I like the repetition of sound in the beginning of the lines, "I will, I would, I won't." It pulls it together in a very cohesive way. Nice flow to this, keep writing.