Austin Moon my Boyfriend

A Poem by Anciedad

this isn't much of a poem...just somethig to help me get my feelings out so I can stop hurting

You won't ever see this, but I just want to throw it out there. There are a million things running through my mind, what I could have done better, what I could have changed. I beat myself up over the little mistakes I made, and for the most part because I just pushed you so far away. I wish you knew that even when I said I didn't want you, I did, and I that not a second goes by that I haven't thought of you since.
You know, It's funny to think about it now. I always said you were gonna leave, and you swore on your life that it would never happen. Yet, here we are. I bet you are okay, and I am glad you are. I hope the new woman is pretty not only in her physical features, but also her heart. I hope she tells you everyday she loves you. I hope she speaks her mind, and never throws silly tantrums. But most of all I hope you never keep her a secret. I hope she is so amazing that you want to tell everyone how lovely she is because most of all that is all she deserves.
I know I was not the best at anything I did, and I know that it was my insecurities that pushed you away. But it is important for you to know that although I told you I hated myself everyday, deep down I felt better with every "no shh you are beautiful, and no you are my babygirl." I will miss every "you are my little princess," and most of all "you are my world" because now that you have moved on my world is crumbling, and yours is still standing strong.
I am so sorry for everything I did, and I only wish you the best. And lastly all I want you to know is that, I will really love you forever and always...Austin...