The Night

An event that happened a couple weeks ago. Breaking the law may have been an indulgence to the story. But then again, it might not have been...

He ran his fingers through his hair and I had never wanted someone so badly. I wanted to feel the space between us, wrap my hands around his waist, trace where his smile faded and his dimples began. But all I could do was cry. Recalling the moment creates memories that come back in dark fragments. It has been a faded outline of a night that will not return and my eyes grow heavy and nostalgic at the thought. I know he's happier with her. I know she wants him. I know I don't belong.

But, it felt nice to be held -- really held. He wasn't sitting with me to cop a feel, or introduce me to someone with a tongue down their throat. He was sitting with me to wipe my tears and listen to me, drunk and rambling on. He heard my stories, heard my cries, and locked them into his memory, creating secrets for just the two of us. The words were set free from my mouth and imprisoned just beyond his teeth. The only words that he would let slip were the three little words that haunted me and waged war in my mind. But, when they floated off his rosy red lips, a flutter began in my heart and it started to beat again. Our hands connected like a jigsaw puzzle, coming together to make the bigger picture perceivable. I never wanted to let go. His hands were gentle and his fingers moved through the spaces between my knuckles as if conducting a sweet melody. Or, possibly, they were more like a little girl, drawing in the gaps between her teeth with her tongue, feeling the devastation and loss inside of her mouth. 

"Look at me," he whispered. His eyes were experienced and their beauty coursed through me. I was captivated by the varying hues that danced and twinkled in the slim glimmer of the disco ball. His eyes grew larger and reflected mine as the space between as lessened. I was temporarily blinded by the moment. "You are beautiful." His free hand rubbed the skin below my chin, sending goosebumps through my body and a rose color to my cheeks. 

Our lips met like the tickle of a sea breeze, returning to shore. The fire in our anxious, teenage hearts took the form of cherry chapstick and raspberry Smirnoff. And suddenly, things weren't so foggy anymore and sobriety wasn't so far away. The thunder and the lightning set in, and so did the regret. The air grew heavy, and our hearts, dark. The cherry chapstick became a curse and the raspberry Smirnoff, a poisonous venom. It was no longer just the two of us but an angry mob, throwing accusations and glares. Yelling was born and rose in my mouth, followed by tears. And he got up, lifting the weight of the two of us, carrying all I had and leaving me with nothing but an empty carcass. He returned to her, happy and bright. And she welcomed him in again, used to a little rain. But I remained an empty body and my hands were still interlaced with his, trying to forget how wrong it all was. My heart still swayed from his arms around me, teaching me how to dance. My lips were sealed and aching from his kiss, now sworn to secrecy.

In the moment, I had forgotten that our love was forbidden. In the moment, I had forgotten our love didn't exist.

Reviews

[Christy Aldridge]

Just. . . Wow. It's crazy how you can read so many books, and write them, and still, someone writes something like this and it brings back so many memories. Beautiful, beautiful writing. Continue on, and I absolutely love this!