Chapter 29.

29...

Conner lay in bed quietly. Kevin was snoring contently beside him and Conner quivered at the thought of him. There was only one bed in the room.

He ached. He felt violated. He felt lost and confused and like he was back, trapped in the nightmare of one year ago. He couldn't sleep. He just stared up at the ceiling, listening to the snoring, and wondering what to do.

He wished Jason hadn't taken his knife. If he had it on him, he would have tried to slice open Kevin's throat.

His eyes shifted to the door. It was double locked, with two chairs in front of it, stacked on top of each other. Kevin had done that on purpose, knowing Conner would try to leave, and knowing he was also a very light sleeper and would hear any kind of commotion. Conner just couldn�t understand�couldn't Kevin see that if he wanted to get out of there, away from him, so badly, that something was wrong?

He used to think nothing was wrong. He was shocked when he was suddenly pulled out. That in itself had made him feel ostracized. They told him he was brainwashed and looked at him sadly, murmuring "Poor baby", talking about how they would help him. And at first he thought it was weird, kind of crazy, that he was then put under a microscope and scrutinized. But he couldn't say he'd missed Kevin. He'd almost turned him into a blurry nightmare.

The door wouldn't work. Not tonight. There was a phone on the nightstand. But Kevin was between him and that option. He was kind of scared to get out of bed without having a clear plan. He got out of the bed before to go use the bathroom and noticed Kevin's eyes watching him the whole way.

He really didn't want that again.

He couldn�t sleep either. He could just lay there with this sick, gut wrenching feeling.---

"Jason."
Jason looked up from a bowl of cereal grumpily. He had not slept well. He studied Michal from his seat as he replied, "What."

"Have you seen Conner?"

Jason shook his head. "All I've seen is this bowl of Cocoa Puffs."

Michal shrugged. "Okay, well Ma told me to wake him up when she was leaving for work, but he's not in his room. And I figured you were usually the one who knows where he is."

"Not his keeper�" Jason murmured, pouring more milk into his bowl.

"Coulda fooled me�" Michal responded.

Jason rolled his eyes. He couldn't help that he and Conner seemed to have more in common. Or at least had spent more time together. Michal spent his spare time with them, but he was busy himself, especially with Camille. They were getting more and more serious. Additionally, Ian had spent his last week trying to "fix things" and be responsible at work. Jason had just inadvertently taken Conner under his wing.

Jason rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Check his closet."

"I did."

"Under his bed and stuff."

"I did. Did you realize he still hasn't unpacked?"

Jason leaned back in his chair and nodded. "Yeah, I know. He will. Just give him time."

"How do you not unpack after a week?"

"I don�t know." Jason shrugged. "It takes a little longer than that to feel like you're sticking around, I guess�"

"Yeah�" Michal just shook his head. "Where else?"

"He sits outside sometimes. On the stoop."

"I looked there too. Front and back door."

"Well, I don't know�" Jason sighed. "He's around somewhere." He paused. "You should make me breakfast. I made you breakfast yesterday."

Michal rolled his eyes. "I don't want to make you breakfast."

"Relationships are about give and take, Mich. You've been taking a lot."

Michal shook his head. "I don't even know what you mean by that."

Jason just smirked at him. "Yeah, yeah."

"Besides, you're already got yourself a decent breakfast. Even though it does have a million grams of sugar in it."

"Mostly calcium�" Jason said thoughtfully. "I put a lot of milk in there."

Michal just rolled his eyes. Jason got in the weirdest moods sometimes. Right now he could tell he was just exhausted. "You sleep okay?"

Jason's brow furrowed. "I don't know. Not really. It's more I wake up exhausted."

"But you slept?"

"It's like restless sleep�" Jason explained as Michal sat down. "Like my mind is too active." He shook his head. "Don't sit down and give me that look like you're gonna analyze me, little brother. I don�t need your psychology."

"I don't know the first thing about analyzing you," Michal retorted with a laugh. "I wouldn't even want to try."

"If you look into the mind of the monster�." Jason began, his voice low and serious, but eyes dancing with mischief, "you might become the monster."

"You really crack yourself up, don't you, Jason�?"

"Sometimes," Jason agreed.

Michal paused. "Camille said you seemed different."

"Well, I have been working out�" Jason flexed his arm. "Arms of steel. Did she notice?"

"I think the words she used were 'more responsible'."

Jason cringed. "Whoa. Seriously?" He dropped his arm down. "I must be losing my touch."

"I told her that the phrase she was looking for was 'sleep deprived' and that as soon as you rested up, you'd be in as much trouble as ever."

"You have so much faith in me."

"Of course." Michal smiled.

"I figured I'd come home for a while without giving Ma anymore gray hairs. Nothing wrong with that, you know?" Jason asked. "With you and Ian keeping up the pace and all. And a new little one to keep you on your toes."

"Sure."

"Did you check the bathrooms and everything?"

Michal frowned. "Huh?"

"For Conner," Jason persisted.

"Oh. Yeah. I did." Michal paused. "Speaking of which... Wednesday was kind of funny."

Jason just raised his eyebrows. "It depends from whose perspective."

Wednesday, Ian had walked into the bathroom upstairs, expecting it to be Michal in the shower and needing to ask him a question. However, it wasn't Michal in the shower, but Conner, who thought he'd locked the door, not realizing how unreliable the locks actually were on those doors upstairs. At the sight of someone else entering the bathroom while he was showering, Conner had begun screaming.

When Jason ran upstairs to the screaming, he was in time to catch Ian walking out the bathroom, yelling back, "Big deal, I almost saw your dick! It's not like we all don't have one too!"

When Jason heard the story, he smirked a little bit, but left Conner alone. He figured he'd be okay, even when it did take him thirty minutes to come out of the bathroom. When he did come out, he tried to tease him, saying, "You know no hour in front of a mirror will make you any prettier, princess", and "I didn't know we had a sister, tying up the bathroom" but Conner wasn't having it. In fact, he just ignored him for a good hour.

"I still think it was funny," Michal answered. "Besides, he'll get used to the lack of privacy around here."

Jason gave him a look. "Yeah, he will, but for now he just needs his space."

Michal's smile disappeared slowly. "Yeah, I guess� I mean, Ma only told me real little about what happened to him before� He� Uh� I don�t know."

"Yeah, don't worry about it�" Jason shook his head. "We'll earn his trust eventually. But walking in on him naked isn't probably the best idea."

"Yeah. Leave it to Ian�" Michal sighed. "But, anyway, I really don't know. I kinda looked all over for him."

"He hides sometimes," Jason admitted. "Sometimes I even think it's by accident. But I'll take a look around in a few minutes for him. Don't worry about it."

An hour had passed and Jason started to get a little concerned. He couldn't find Conner anywhere in the house. He started looking casually after breakfast, but then when he didn't turn up, started looking more seriously. He'd even started yelling his name to try to see if maybe he was behind or beneath something he hadn't thought about. He didn't know why he'd be doing that, but sometimes Conner did get into moods.
"Why would he disappear like this?" Jason demanded from Michal, who'd been helping him look. "Again?"

"I don't know," Michal replied. With a shrug he added, "Like I said, you're the one that knows him best at this point."

They sat on the couch, out of ideas and tired.

Jason shook his head. "I don't know either. I don't get it. And, I mean, we made a deal but I just can't believe�"

"A deal?" Michal frowned. "What kinda deal?"

Jason crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, trying to explain. "Well, it was the first night that I met him. I guess the first night he was here. And to make a long story short, we had a bit of a weird first encounter, because I caught him wanting to split in the middle of the night� And we just kinda talked� Well, I talked, mostly. And he made a deal with me that he'd give this place a week, and then� And then, well, he could make up his mind if he wanted to stay or not."

"So you basically told him that after a week he could run away?"

"No� No, not at all�" Jason shook his head. "Is that what it sounds like? I was trying to convince him that after a week he'd have no reason to run away� Like, he was scared at first, of course, but� What's he had to be scared of now?"

Michal made a face. "I don't know. You holler an awful lot."

"No, I don't," Jason replied defensively. "I don't at all."

"I don't know. Maybe not that much, but you do get awfully uptight sometimes."

Jason set his jaw. "Not with him. There's nothing for him to run from. Ma's always perfect. Other than the shower thing, you guys haven't done anything to him�"

"Nobody's hit him. Or touched him."

"Exactly," Jason said. "I mean� I was rough a few times� But�" He hesitated. "I never really hit him. I kinda pulled him a bunch of times� But like, I never hurt him."

"I know," Michal agreed.

"It wasn't real hitting, what I did, at least," Jason continued, frowning. "Like, I've given him a few slaps, or whatever. But it's more like� taps. Like this." He flicked Michal's arm. "Nothing."

Michal shook his head. "Jason, he likes you best, so I don't think you're the one to be worried about."

"I guess�" Jason mumbled. Still he was worried. Why would Conner leave after a week? Nothing terrible had happened. There'd been ups and downs, some boredom, some fights between random parties in the house, but nothing more than a typical week. Nothing more than a typical family. Ian getting beat up was a bit out of the ordinary for average families, but not around here, really.

"You look like you're in another world," Michal said.

Jason snapped out of his reverie. "What? Oh. I'm just thinking."

"He wouldn't run away," Michal said decisively. "He knows that would just end him up somewhere worse."

Jason nodded. "Yeah, but he knows better than to just walk off. And this is not the time that he wants to be walking off. Ma and I have been trying to keep an extra eye on him recently." He tried to cast the thought of Kevin back to the shadows of his mind. A week had passed, with him and Judy talking just briefly about it again. It had, he'd hoped, turned into an empty threat and concern. But... Jason was always concerned.

"Yeah."

"He also promised me he'd never just disappear again."

Michal made a face. "Kids aren't always the best at making promises, Jason. In case you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, but he knows better," Jason persisted. "He wouldn't do that again. Not unless there was a really important reason. And I don't know what kind of important reasons eleven year olds have."

"Well, if he wandered off� He ought be back soon. And you can just chew him out then."

Jason sighed. "I mean. If he ran away� he'd take his stuff, right?"

"You think it'd be easy enough� Still packed and all�"

Jason sighed. "Okay. He'll be back soon then. I'm just going to look outside one more time, and then we'll just leave it alone for a while."

Michal nodded. "Yeah, I agree." He reached for the controller of the TV as Jason got up.

Jason sighed and headed for the front door. He was amazed at how Conner had brought out all these feelings in him. Worry, mostly. He felt responsible and couldn't help the edginess he felt when Conner was gone. It had only been a week but already he felt attached and protective.

Why would Conner do this again? There'd been nothing of great importance last night that would've given him reason to disappear. And he knew if he wanted to go somewhere or do something that Jason would take him. He did get in those weird tempers where he needed to be in his own world� But this felt different. And he could usually get over that mood by simply quieting down for a while.

Outside, Jason sighed and walked off the stoop. He half expected Conner to be out there, scandalously smoking a cigarette with a secretive, bashful look on his face. But he wasn't there. The kid was no where to be found.

With a sigh, Jason walked towards the driveway, looking out at his s****y car. This was just more stress now. He wondered if he should call Ma, and let her know. She'd do her same calm voice again, and maybe it would make him feel better.

Jason ran a hand through his hair and turned back to look at the house. The O'Riley house. His house. The house he wanted to take care of, even if it killed him.

Suddenly his mind went blank and he felt himself go cold.

He saw the ladder leaning up against the side of the house.

Author's Note

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