BY THE RAILWAY

Hope you enjoy! Inspired by a painting above my bed except I don't exactly know if she is by the railway or not. lol

BY THE RAILWAY

 

There is a girl by the railway,

I watch her walk, walk, walk away.

Never does she go further than the stairs,

To the outside world, out there.

 

Time passes by and by,

But still she stays, sit or lie.

It seems as if she’s waiting for someone,

Waiting like a blind man waiting for the sun.

 

I want to reach out and embrace her in my arms,

But she doesn’t look scared, so very calm.

She’s waiting for something that will never come,

Her friend, her dog, her dad or her mum.

 

In her hands she holds a single rose,

The train would come and she would arose.

Only to be disappointed every time,

And in the distance, the clock did chime.

 

There is a girl by the railway,

I watch her walk, walk, walk away.

Author's Note

i noe sum of the gramma is kinda wrong bt it rhymed! lol

Reviews

[deeps]

Oh! Wow! This is one amazing write
I am serious. You are good
i can feel the whole thing.

[Maylea]

I really like this poem. You're good with imagery in your words. I love these lines:

"It seems as if she's waiting for someone,
Waiting like a blind man waiting for the sun."

"I want to reach out and embrace her in my arms,
But she doesn't look scared, so very calm."

SO good. It has that sense of mystery to it where you paint a picture but don't tell us everything about it. Thus we are left wondering so much more. Definitely two thumbs up!

[Steve H]

Haha the grammar isnt the most important thing, i liked what you were getting at!!

[An owl on the moon]

Absolutely beautiful, expressive and vivid... Just loved reading it as her world came alive through your words!

[melwin]

I like this poem. It flows quite well, You might want to try and rearrange the last thirteenth and fourteentb lines so that the poem maintains it's smooth imagery and flow. The rhyming here seems a little forced and causes a bump in the road (but that is up to you). Good job though. I like this.