in dust

...it's reliable

yes
i should have said those three words
but your fear of the past
and my fear of the future
dried them from me
still they crumble
before me
every day
into dust

 

yes
they were right
i should have said those three words
and now my chance has gone
with the wind and the dust
it is gone

Author's Note

no poetry - just thoughts

Reviews

[Sabine]

the start of each
of the two stanzas
with a positive,
manifests an intended mood,
indicative of breaks,

the reader fixated
on the poem's
reliable intentions
must blow away

the implied remainders
of pre-conceived
notions.

A remarkable and well-conceived Poem. Sabine*

[mick weller]

title clearly inspired by the Chemical Brothers - In Dust we Trust - a reliable outcome...

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

I like these words you have expressed. I too have some regrets and think of them everyday. What if....

[Tracie Skarbo]

How very sad....hope you will have other opportunities to take this lesson and turn it into an oasis rather then the crumbling dust it appears to be...

[Raef C. Boylan]

Oh dear, very sober.
Can't tell if we're supposed to critique this or not.

The tone of it works well, as does the repetition of certain words.

[Sel Whiteley]

This is a powerful poem which expresses to succinctly the pathos of allowing fear of the past or future to determine a relationship. It's something so many people can relate to.

[Emily B]

dust thou art
to dust returnest
was not spoken of the soul

Lonfellow, I think . .

[Phibby Venable]

love the grasp here. .but regrets are so dreadful. like the choice of words.
it is, however, very sad to me.

[Emily B]

I saw something resembling these thoughts the other day in a message from a friend. Very much like that dried up tumbleweed meandering through the dusty desert. Wandering. Just wandering.