A Perfect Love

A Perfect Love

A Poem by jay

flowing softly before my very eyes,

and me not sure whats going on,

and then it hits me like a rolling train,

this is how a perfect love takes shape.

 

long silky lumonous hair eyes full of love,

and compassion for this weary soul,

a face soft as a new fallen snow,

looking in my direction,bringing me on,

showing me how a perfect love takes form.

© 2008 jay


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Compartment 114
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Wow man I have to say its depth surprises me. I had no idea you could write like that. I enjoyed the imagery. I am impressed with your usage of simile. I know this is your first piece on here, but tell me is it your fist venture in to the world of writing at all? I would like to make a suggestion to you in reference to your poem. I think this is a wonderful start but a topic as deep and as large as a perfect love taking form, I think it should be longer. Keep working on this piece and add a little as you learn more of what is means to have that kind of love. Wonderful job Jay. I enjoyed it and look forward to reading your future additions to this piece as well as the other posts I am sure you will add in time. God bless and I will see you later man.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Oh Jay! It is a lovely poem, I like it!

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 13, 2008

Author

jay
jay

bristol, TN



About
Ive just put up my first poem and I would like to hear what you think of it, and if you wish you can write me if you want to talk as well. I hope to hear from all of you soon = ) more..

Writing
Black Arts Black Arts

A Book by jay



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