Unveiled

Seeing the true colours of a person

My contribution to you

one more display on your shelf of past pride

put together for a few moments

and taken apart for as long as it sits in darkness 

your territories

your trophies

both past and present

come

and gone

but it soothes your ego

your hands reach over to the crown of my head

and a pretty veil is placed

that weight on my head

heavy

but I wore it with pride

laced with threads like gold

months of wearing this pretty veil

vision obstructed

obstructed by pretty details of lace

perception deluded

my sense of self successfully hunted down

and consumed

I gave it up

to wear that pretty veil

sunny day gone stormy  

waves came crashing against my boat of hopes

strong tides

sea water in my stomach

kicking to stay afloat

No food left for me to vomit out

any longer and my insides will start to bleed

throat burning

head spinning

heavy breathing

cries of discomfort

blessed they say

the deep sinking

the drowning

did me good

they say I'm finally clean now

I am finally unveiled now

Author's Note

I'd like to know what you think!

Reviews

[Danomaly1983]

That was a great poem with lots of metaphors, like for instance the heavy veil that the protagonist wore with such pride, even though it made her blind to the flaws of the person she was with. I particularly like the phrase "waves came crashing against my boat of hopes". Great one, Lianne :)

[Lianne]

thank you! I always appreciate your reviews :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see divorce...the veil lifted...you made me into what you wanted me to be and diluted my personality to the point where i no longer knew myself...

nicely done...one spot..did you mean "perception diluted"?

but yes, something many of us can relate to at one period or another in our lives.

[Lianne]

thank you! Oh.. I meant "perception deluded". Will change that mistake

[Vile]

I dig it. Im pretty picky when it comes to poetry. One thing I don't likeis when a poem is too simplistic and just spoon feeds you all the answers. So I like that you have a bit of complexity to this. It leaves the reader able to analyze it, which in my opinion is half the fun. Well done. :D

[Lianne]

haha thank you! glad that you like it! I was actually afraid that this was too simple