Swordfights Under the Starlights

doesn't the name just say it all?

 

Swordfights Under the Starlight

 

Clanging metal blades meet

the sweet symphony of crickets

As the rain flows like thunder

Over the swordfights,

Under the starlights

The cars kick up the water

like dust, from under

the chariots of Caesar’s day

“Et tu Brute” as he falls under

foe’s friendly blows and

the cars kick up the water

Past the swordfights,

Under the starlights

As my muscles tire, they’re sore

after friendly blows

During the swordfights

Under the starlights

And could there be

anything more wonderful

to take you back in time

Just like swordfights

Under the starlights. 

Author's Note

I like the first 2/3 of the poem, I'm not sure about the ending. I feel like it kind of trails off. Opinions? Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[stella_lemurum]

Now I have goosebumps...
The poem was a very beautiful, and some of the metaphors you used were lovely. I especially liked "The cars kick up the water / like dust, from under / the chariots of Caesar's day" I felt like I could picture the night as it happened, but really the best setting was the emotional one.
I don't know about the ending. I didn't have a problem with it as I read it, but looking back, I can see your point. Perhaps there could have been a better ending, but it didn't take away from the poem for me. Maybe you could rework the last couple of stanzas. They didn't quite have the same wondrous imagery as the rest.
I think the poem is gorgeous, and I do love that line that I suspect you based the poem of off. It has a rhythm to it that drew me in.