April 23, 2014

"You need to come now"

That's all that was said

This can't be real

My own best friend, my soulmate, my world

Dead

Could it be? Could it really be?

Heartbreak, disbelief, fear

Why? Why God?

Why him? Why not me?

I'm the sick one, I'm the one that was suppose to die

Guilt

No goodbye, no I love you, nothing

Gone, just like that, gone

This is unreal

Pain

Everyday there is pain

It's overwhelming

I just can't do it anymore

I need to take the pain away

"Be strong for him Lex" is what they all say

But they've never lost their best friend

But I'm not, I'm weak

So very weak

Alcohol was the first cure

But that didn't last long

Weed, but still no relief

There was one last option

It was the only thing to ease the pain

The blade

The pain made it all okay again

Then the smile came

Well the fake smile

But it's okay, I wear that everyday

I've taken it too far

4 times I've tried, but I'm still here

Why God? Why won't you just take me?

It isn't suppose to be this way

But now I know

I'm stronger

Stronger than the pain

God has a plan for me

Even though I don't understand

But he has a plan

I can't change the past

But I'd go back to that day if I could

To save him

To tell him to stay home

To tell him to not get in that car

I'd go back to that day

Say I love you

But only if I could

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