author of my own defeat

author of my own defeat represents the feeling of being emotionally neglected by those around you.

i feel as if i am screaming

in a room full of people

and no one turns a head

no one bats an eye

i feel a hand covering my mouth

but the hand is my own

it seems as if

i don’t even feel like others should care about me

i feel as if i’m calling out to people

but they’re tuned in to a different frequency

my messages never seem to get through

but the hand still covers my mouth 

because i’m afraid if they turn

they will see me

how i see myself.