Snowflakes

Winter time poem

The snowflakes fall onto my nose and leave chills on my face,

Each snowflake is a loved one,

Begging to be caught and make an imprint on me.

 

I cannot catch all these snowflakes,

Which reminds me of those in my life I’ve hurt.

 

There are ones I do catch,

Some touch my face and melt fast,

The memory of those in life who I’ve been blessed to be with,

But our time together is over.

 

There are others that linger on the heat of my cheeks,

Leaving a bitter, stinging cold, 

Like those in my life making me who I am.

 

Then there are the ones that have yet to fall on me,

Letting me know that they are yet to make an impact in my life,

Until they reach me,

I’ll be waiting.

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts :) This is just a quick poem I wrote.
Ignore my grammar :D
I am trying to improve, so your thoughts help :)

Reviews

[tekphobik]

I really really like the concept here, and I'd like to see it developed further. You wrote this quick, so I'll just say that there's a definite strong quality to the words that you can harness further, but you need to devote some time. I don't like the one stanza about the snowflakes leaving a lasting mark, dissolving slowly, blah blah - I find it a little weak, but if you can somehow modify the metaphor to become more fitting, expand upon the current 'flakes' and their poignancy and impact, this will come out wonderfully.

"F**k Christmas."

Just had to say it.

[katyj]

I like the color of the write and the detail. I can feel your heart pour out with emotions. like this