Write an Unsent Letter to Your Father

Wow ok. Got this topic from my writers block site. Fore warning you all now this is gonna get weird. For those of you that dont know, I'm adopted.

Dear Dad,

I don't even know where to start. I'm almost 19 years old and I have yet to see your face. I'm not even sure I know your name. I've heard stories and other hearsay but I want to know and I want to know from you and mom. I have spent the majority of my life so far wondering why you didn't keep me. Why wasn't I good enough for you to love and raise like I should have been? Honestly most nights it would eat me up inside. The wondering and all the questions I didn't have the answers to. All the questions that no one wants to answer for me and I felt guilty. Like some how you and mom not wanting me was my fault and I know that's crazy but what else could I think? I knew you lived in the same town and that my mom knew who you were and that you two had talked but not a single mention of me.

I tormented myself every night for years with questions. Why me? Was something wrong with me? Was something wrong with you or mom? Where you young and stupid like I was? Now that I am older and know a little bit more but not much, I wonder how or if I would have turned out different if I had been with you and mom. Would one of you have taught me how to ride a bike or take me to little league softball games? Stayed up with me when I was sick or would I have had completely different people in the delivery room when I had my son? I wonder what it would be like to meet you. Sit down somewhere and eat or have coffee and talk about all this but I don't think I could handle it. I think I would have a nervous breakdown and end up screaming at you for leaving me. I still can't keep myself from thinking where are you?

Sincerely, Still Lost. 

Reviews

[Neshie]

It is quite the difficult thing to go through always wondering why. But I believe that you figure it all out sometime.