The Bottle

My first poem I have written about my struggle with addiction

What am I chasing at the bottom of the bottle?

Whatever it was by now I've surely swallowed.

 

Now my body is heavy upon waking as I just crave relief

My wallet is light from chasing my high by any means

 

My moral compass changes as I run low on funds

Now I'm contemplating doing things I never would have done.

 

I hear a voice in the back of my head saying "Stop this isn't you!"

But I've already gone so far I respond "What else do I have to lose?"

 

I'm just another addict who resorts to the bottle when I'm in pain

but how much longer before I'm dead or decide to change?

 

Through wasted times I have lost my purpose

Even the thought of life, well, it makes me nervous.

 

The bottle was a thief robbing me of peace

attempting and failing to use any substance as a release.

 

I've been filling a void for so long the old me is lost

Now though each day gets clearer and I'm no longer engulfed in a fog.

 

With help I don't need the bottle to satisfy although at times I still think I do.

I'm being taught that once I get it and the high passes I'll just be back to craving something new.

 

I lived as an extension of the bottle but am now finding a new identity

Knowing now beyond any doubt if I start using again my using will embody me

 

The success I am aspiring to is now within reach, but I'm still hungry for more

so I keep going to every meeting letting fellow recovering addicts move me forward.

 

I tell myself that I've got to stay sober and I know I can "one day at a time"

Those 5 words are what I grasp onto when it feels as though I'll lose my mind.

 

All those past years I had spent wasted never essentially went to waste,

for they can be put to use as an example of how not to live my old way

Author's Note

Please leave any feedback at all.

Reviews

[As the Raven Flys]

excellent! Addicts, such as , myself are truly the inspired ones, the tortured ones, the ones kissed by God, here on this earth to be the inspirations that may save others lives as well. Much Love

[Joey Lexington]

I really appreciate how much you put yourself out there! Good for you for overcoming your addiction! The comment at the end that says those years weren't wasted shows your true positive outlook on life, though life can be hard! Well done and thank you!

[Astro]

Hi Lexi, was just looking for inspiration perusing the writer groups, feeling a bit deflated at the lack of talent when I came across your poem. I have a couple things to say. I haven't been on this website in years when it comes to contributing and reviewing but I know a mind among the method, by that I mean there's definitely something there in your writing. Not sure if this is poured out of an honest soul who's searching or if it is pure fiction, but on the off chance this is your inner voice working through a hardship like addiction. I just gave you a drink. The only difference is, these words like your own are permanent and not fleeting like the one's you're perhaps used to. My praise, is only a shot but it's across the bow of your addiction sailing in the opposite direction. You have a skill in communicating with words, nurture it like the bottle you craved for so long and it will fill you up in ways you cannot imagine. Take the bad with the good, take it all as it comes and use it, like an addiction!! Good job.