My world

It's all a series of lies,

list by list,

they stack up quick,

you don't know who to believe,

stupid little b***h.

The pain it has no ending,

merry-go-rounds we go,

who told you it'd stop?

Little did they know.

Water from the eyes,

make a waterfall, so bright,

you can't keep on going,

baby end it tonight.

If the grass grew blue,

and the sky was green,

you'd still tell the lies,

your hands aren't clean.

But the day is almost over,

and you're drowning in your own thoughts,

slit those wrists baby,

you almost forgot.

Just on the last six seconds,

you count their stupid little tricks.

Six,

let it happen, don't listen to no one.

Five,

they've come to take you away,

forever no more.

Four,

you scream at the top of your lungs, mercy, maybe revenge.

Three,

no one listens, you're all alone.

Two,

this has to be the end.

One.

You fall to your knees.

If the world came to an end,

you'd be the first to know,

for yours baby girl,

never began.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

If I were your close friend perhaps I wouldn't read this as poetry but a plea for help and I would react to it in kind. You hit a nerve with this one and if you did it with poetic license, good on ya. My son threatened once to end his life. As his mom I did the appropriate thing and went bat poop crazy on it.
that being said, as a writer we sometimes get caught up in our own spiderweb emotions. Sometimes poetry like this is a detox moment and we move on. At this point I would hope that is what this was and I relate to it on that level. It is a solid, sobering write.

[Penny]

Heard of stream of conciousness novel.. this is a stream of conciousness poem. Truly emotive and yes, quite ambiguous too. Very good and diffrent. Well done.

[Calibaster]

Other than the surprise profanity, I really liked it. (it's against my religion) :) Well done, I agree, it was a lot of emotion. ;)

[Einstein Noodle]

this brutal honest outpouring takes away my breath .. i am an optimist .. an introvert with all the joy i need right inside me ... your poem presses my breast bone and drains blood from my brain ... good Lord in heaven girl!!! so glad you found the pen to let this blood ... peace and flowers always dear one!
E.