Affliction Expected

A Poem by 4ammonologues

It's not what I intended;
I never meant to get my whole world
so knotted up in the
desperate promises I made years ago.
But I chained myself to those
spindly wrists of his back then
And believed him when he said
we could take them off
if we wanted to, someday.
[Liar].

And years from now, I'll tell them;
"He had these bottomless eyes that
steadied and
captivated and
inspired me
but I didn't deserve them".

[Did I make you up inside my head?]

And maybe next summer,
you'll think of the evanescent explosions in my eyes
[And you'll wonder if I ever got them back],
or the key around my neck
that should have been yours.

Surely by then you will have
realized that you deserve nothing short of
the star-sprayed sky and a fairytale ending,
and that I am nothing but
that bitter taste that bubbles up in his throat
[when he screams about my 3 AM monologues];
Mishap enough even without
the cynical story lines and funereal metaphors.

I'll be safe in the cobwebs he made me
But i'll save my dreams for you.