Vanitas

Your feet shuffle over the worn-out, patchy carpet, and I can feel the static dancing on my skin as you lean down to run your finger along the line of my jaw - - kiss me gently on the cheek.

And it wasn’t always like this.
And it won’t be this way for much longer.

I never did quite understand how this panicky back and forth worked its way in-between us.

And let’s not pretend like any of this puts even the faintest marker on the map of your bipolar thoughts.

Let’s not pretend like the clouds aren’t pushing in a storm today.

We both know
that this jealousy lurches up my insides like vomit and escapes my lips with words painted in the resentment you instill in me.

And my heart can’t take this. Not much longer.
And for now, I sit with the heated sand under my thighs. Let the waves lick at my toes and the wind rip away at my hair.

But my mind can’t take this.
Your icy words, this uncertainty - - it’s not what I bargained for.

And secretly, I am hoping that you choke on all this.
Truthfully, I am slipping away into catatonia.

And in case you were wondering, this new perspective – it’s catharsis.
It is the sun rising and casting a glow on what we both should have known all along.

When will I finally see things for what they are again?
Instead of these ever-expanding cracks in the ceiling.
The waxy texture of your skin.

It wasn’t always like this.
It won’t be this way for much longer.

Reviews

[Emily B]

and all is indeed, vanity, I can never remember whether the quote is from Shakespeare or the bible, but this is wonderful work. I felt the tension crackle. Those clouds and their storms. I wonder sometimes why they have to push those storms in at all. They could just as easily blow them out to sea, if they wanted.