Let Us...Skip Ahead a Little to My Far from Last Screw Up

The begginning chapter, but not the beginning of the tale. This is Liam, shortly after a "break-up" with Penelope.

Liam

Day 39 - 40

I felt like I had finally lost it.  It was my parents death all over again, I hadn't been to work in days.  Although, it is a little hard to go to work when you barley leave your bed.  The only think I new for sure was that it had been raining for the last few days.    I stared blankly at the windows, watching each raindrop smash into the glass then slid down, fall off the windows, and repeat. 

I guess since I’m telling this story starting at the end, I should at least do the right thing and tell you why I refuse to leave my bed.  There was this girl, Penelope Dorris Ingram, I loved her, but alas I fucked it up.  I cheated on her, the one thing I told myself I would never do to anyone, I would never put anyone through that.  The girl I cheated with, Chloe Cook, was an old friend and now the biggest mistake I have ever made.  Penelope and I, who never were officially dating, were having a fight so I went out, with Chloe.  We had a little too much to drink and well the rest is history.  Chloe’s friend was the one who told Penelope, I am pretty sure Chloe set that up; regardless I don’t talk to Chloe anymore.  After Penelope told me she never wanted to see me again I went into hiding, much like I did after my parents died.  I don’t deal with change well and when the girl you love tells you to “f**k off” it sort of hurts.  

I just lay in bed, unable to bring myself to do anything, I just didn’t care anymore; without Penelope my life seemed meaningless.  Days and days I laid there, I think I lost like ten pounds.  I didn’t take any calls and no one came to visit me, that was, until today; a Thursday. 

“Come on man, open up, I know you’re in there,” I heard someone call, in-between knocks, through my apartment door.  I stare at the door from my bed, on the other side of the apartment, hoping in vain that I can somehow open it with my mind and not have to get out of bed, which I am still refusing to do. 

“It’s open,” I moan loudly.  I hear the turn of the handle and the door slide open, I slip back under my covers to hide from whoever is about to enter my space; I feel bad for them.  

“Dude, where have you been?  No one has seen you in days.”  I can tell whoever it is is heading closer by the sound of his voice.  I groan from under she sheets, but don’t look at him, “Come on man, it’s James, get up,” I can tell at this point that he is probably standing at the foot of my bed.  

“I refuse to leave my bed ever again.” 

“Fair enough, at least sit up and tell me what the hell is going on.  I mean I you best bloody friend, let me help.”

“That is nothing you can do,” I say as I sit up.  The covers slip off my face and standing there is James, “I done fucked up and that is all there is too it.” 

“Come on now, what is going on?” he takes a seat on the end of the bed.  

“It’s simple, I cheated on her,” I sort of shrug when I say this, as if to say “meh, it’s whatever,” which is bullshit.

“Oh s**t,” I can hear the surprise in his voice, his mouth lingers open after he says it, “that doesn’t seem like you, what happened?” I tell him the story of what happen with Chloe and her friend, also of what happen between Penelope and I afterwards.    

“What a b***h,” he proclaims after I finish, “having her friend do that, where does she get off?  What did you do?”

“I told her off,” by this point James is lying across the foot of my bed staring at the ceiling, and I am curled up in a ball with my knees in my chest with my arms wrapped around them, resting my chin on my knees.

“Well, regardless,” he starts, looking over at me, “you can’t hide in here forever.” 

“Then you never knew me after my parents death, you’re lucky I let you in here today.”

“I wouldn’t have stopped knocking until you did.”

“The knocking doesn’t bother me, knock away.”

“You need to come back.”

“No, not now.  You guys are fine down there.”

“You don’t understand,” he says sitting up, “Allen is coming in tomorrow.”

“Wait, what?” no one had seen Allen in months, he stopped coming, he more or less gave me full control of the place and went off to do other things.

“Yeah, he called today to say so, he asked for you but we told him you were sick.”

“And...he is coming in tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he says shaking his head up and down.  

“Fine, I will come in tomorrow, but you have to leave me alone for the rest of the day.”

“Deal,” James says standing up, “just do something with yourself, do something to get your mind off her.  I know that big things are really your thing, but do something big, distract yourself.” 

“We’ll see,” I flop back down on my bed as James leave. I hear the door click behind him.  As I drift off into sleep I think about what James said, something big, he was right; I needed to do something to get my mind off her, just so I could survive until Allen was gone.  

***

I almost didn’t hear the knock on my door the next day, partly because I was in shock that I was out of bed, and partly because I was making a bunch of noise.  I was surprised as to whom was standing on the other side of the door when I opened it.

“Allen?” I say through the cracked door.

“Hey son, open up,” his voice was still soft with me.  It had been ever since my parent died, I think he still thought I could breakdown at any moment; he was probably right.  I close the door again, un-slide the bolt, and open the door all the way.  

We walk into the kitchen and sit down at my table; no one says anything for a few minutes.  

“What is going on with you Liam?” Allen says after a minute, he is just looking at me; I can tell he is concerned.

“What do you mean?” I try to play dumb, but I know it won’t work.   

“You haven’t been to work in a week,” I can hear the annoyance in his voice, “you have been held-up in here, you promised James that you would come into work to see me today, and well here I am.” I lean back in my chair, and take a sip out of the soda can sitting in front of me.

“Alright, there is this girl,”

“Ahhh, a girl. Something new,” I go on to recount the story, the short one, of Penelope and I all the way up to the “break up.” After I’m done, Allen just sits there for a minute, staring at the ground.

“Okay, I have to go so I am going to give you the short version of what I have to say,” he stands up, leaning over the table her continues, “I love you kid, so don’t take this the wrong way.  You fucked up, big time, but I know you, and I know that you won’t get over her, so and I can’t believe I am saying this, you need to get her back.”

“How?” I say standing up, Allen is making his way to the door.

“I don’t know, you ‘ll think of something.  What are all the boxes for?” He says looking around at the stacks and stacks of boxes around my apartment.

“My something big,” I say with a smile.

“Whatever you say,” Allen says rolling his eyes, he opens the front door, “good luck, kid.  I better not see you as a hermit when I come back,” he shuts the door behind him. 

***

This time, I couldn’t miss the knocking, excuse me, beating on my door.  I wade my way over to the door, coffee cup in hand, and carefully open it.  The wall I build keeps anything from escaping.  To my surprise Penelope is on the other side of the door.

“What the f**k are you doing up here?” she shouts as soon as I see her, “it sounds like it’s raining in your apartment,” The truth was, it wasn’t raining, I wish it had been, I Was just pouring a bunch of stuff onto it.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, Penelope lives directly below me. 

“I’m not doing anything,” I smile.

“Whatever, will you just shu-,” she stops and looks around the floor of my apartment, I laugh, “what the hell? Why is your apartment filled waste level with playpen balls?”  I look around at me feel, at all the multi colored balls.  That was my something big, I always loved the pools filled with playpen balls as a kid, so as my distraction I filled my apartment with them.  It was a dream come true. I felt better.  The noise may or may not have been caused to draw Penelope up here, the truth will never be told. 

“Because of you,” without hesitation I slam the door shut in her face.  

Author's Note

Still very early, first draft.

Reviews

[ganga ramesh]

Interesting...The fact that you have started your narration from the tail of the tale makes it more involving...please increase your font size. I already have a bulky specs around my eyes and if I am going to continue reading these ant-like fonts I am going to end up blind. (just kidding, but seriously, write in larger font)....great start is half finished and I hope this novel comes out really well...nice :)

wishes,
Ganga Ramesh