Lentil Carrot Garlic Orange Gravy?Soup

it really exists...

Lentil Carrot Garlic Orange Gravy?Soup


A delicious soup hailing from the rough mountains of the North; a heart-warming (and bowel-warming) delight to enjoy on your own (or in the company of your eleven kittens) on a cold winter’s evening


Ingredients (makes for one adult or twelve kittens):

(1) Six spoonfuls of old Lentils
"note spoonfuls, not tablespoonfuls, or teaspoonfuls, just regular spoonfuls will do.
(2) Half a handful of roughly chopped Carrots
"put your OCD aside and chop them roughly… properly chopped, squarish, roundish ones simply won’t do
(3) Seven cloves of yellow Garlic
"more or less if you like… if you’ve translucent skin and your bed’s a coffin (like me), best to skip them altogether
(4) Half a box of Oranges, peeled, seeded and pureed
"yeah, you read it right… oranges… we all need some colour in our lives, and oranges are made of sunshine and happiness aren’t they?
(5) Lots of Water fresh from a mountain well
"water keeps your skin looking, well, like skin, and mine looking youthful… beware, this step makes all the difference between gravy and soup


And because we all need a bit of tender loving care now and again…


Garnishing (optional):

(1) A branch of coriander
"a single branch of the tenderest coriander from your neighbour’s garden would do… preferably, take it without his/her permission (caution"this is considered stealing where I come from); it tastes so much better that way
(2) Garlic croutons
"again, avoid these if the sunlight burns you
(3) A full-sized baguette
"only a full-sized one will do, so don’t half-a*s this one by buying the leftovers at the end of the day


And if you thought things couldn’t get simpler…


Preparation (to finish it all):

(1) Put all the ingredients into a large metal pot and bring to a sputtering boil
"if you don’t have a large metal pot in your kitchen, it’s time to run out to get one now; we don’t want things boiling smoothly, so keep the sputtering going… we wanna see a huge mess after it’s done, people
(2) Serve in large China bowls
"yes, only bowls with beautiful Chinese calligraphy painted all over the inside and outside will do
(3) Garnish as you see fit


bon appétit


Guaranteed to delight, or you can return the constituent ingredients to their respective grocers for a full refund"no questions asked (at least none by me, the provider of this recipe)