The Depravity that plagues me so

Writing about the suppressed feelings and desires I harbour as a modern gentleman in a Perilous world

Locked in the recesses of my own desires...i lust for exploration, I bleed at the thought of control, at the cringes of etiquette, a little hummingbird in a cage of perpetual captivity...
I desire to unleash, but the hurdles of my dignity obstruct me, great is mine pride that it relinquishes any sprout of liberty.
Ah to what cave shall I crawl to, this burden weighs me down so, an encompassing malignant rain that drenches me when I cache in an umbrella. I cannot weep for I must be strong, I must disdain from attracting cross eyes to my cause, must represent an armor of fortitude and grace. For without this, I would be utterly disclosed.
No cave withstands the roar when I unleash for I cause such a great upset, I become frightened the walls just might give in.
I beseech you to try remotely even to fathom this predicament, what it entertains and such depravity it conceives.
A trial quarrel erupts, words are hurled, blessures are incurred, needless to say, barely a couple of words are all that's required to heal these words, but alas, I would rather watch you walk away than apologise, my pride over-rides my humanity, and so en strangled within is my burning desire to will you back to my side, I'm so sorry my love!
Staring at the mirror, I am bewildered at the sickening sight I dispose, this mask that everyone sees, the bunker in which I have lodged myself within in the hopes of resisting failures and malignancies is now suffocating me! I struggle to untangle myself from this deceptive Web I have spun but I consequently embed deeper, I want to scream; your impressions of me are misplaced! Assemble and acquit with the real me!
This words bounce off and rattle within my thoughts and trachea and I am left in a shadow that rather seals their feelings that I am a long fellow with a massive personality, no one dare cross his path or merge onto his person.
I am abandoned and desolate seeking a sanctuary, Liberate my soul.

Author's Note

Please review this dialogue with all sincerity and devoid of malignant agendas, I'd like to know my level and impact of my words, pay no attention to the improper punctuation