For You

This is about someone I take for granted. I thought it was time she had her own poem.

This one is to you

Because while I've been dwelling 

Over the father afraid of love

You've been watching behind 

Not saying a word

This is for you

Because while I've been rushing through life

To make the whole world proud

You've been standing right behind me

Never making a sound

All of it is to you 

Because while I've been reaching my goals 

To become a better me

You've been smiling right behind me

Not a stress in the world

Everything is for you

Because while I've been working 

To build what you see

The feel of your hand on my shoulder

Was the one thing

That never left me 

Author's Note

I'm still working on some wording with it, as you can probably tell. Any change suggestions with the wording?

Reviews

[Amanda Trerotola]

This is a strong draft! I like how you start each stanza with "For you." I would fix the last stanza. :)

[Eve]

Was there something specific in my last stanza that I should change, or just the stanza in general?

[Amanda Trerotola]

I think the last three lines, but is up to you. :)

[Eve]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely take it with me when editing this piece.

[Amanda Trerotola]

Of course! Happy to help.

[Chris]

kids seem to seldom miss a chance to tell us "olders" how wrong, dumb, and uncaring we were/are ...but, I think you are doing quite well all on your own.

As for wording - is "because" a driving force or an unneeded pre-reference to your actually doing and living as you were shown how to do?

[Eve]

I used the word "because" to explain why it's for her. Although I suppose I also used it as a driving force to push the poem along.

[Chris]

yes - you did... but is the word necessary for what YOU are saying?

[Eve]

Do you have any ideas for what I could do instead of "because?"

[Chris]

Read the poem aloud - slowly - WITHOUT any "Because" present.

[Kami]

I like it just as it is. Makes me think of my "For You" person...Thank you for sharing.

[Onlyme]

Aw, this is beautiful dear Eve. You should let them read it. And I am sure they will beam with such pride and happiness. And sheer love for you.

[Eve]

Thank you. Some day I might show it to them. Right now there are still some wording problems in it that I'm working on.