Too Much, Too Heavy

When I fall, I fall hard.

I won't tell you when I'm not okay

I won't tell you I need you

I'm not going to call you crying 

I won't text you for help

I'll snap at you instead 

I'l tell myself I'm just pissy

But I won't tell you

Even when I'm ready for death

Even when I can't look at myself

I'll say I'm pissy

But I won't tell you I'm upset

No because I need you too much

Because I've told you too much

And I can't do it anymore

Because I love you too much

And I'll never tell you that

So I'll text you an hour later 

And I'll shut you down

That's the funny part

Because you ignore it

You keep trying

Until I stop 

When I can't try anymore

When I finally give up 

I don't tell you

Because I love you too much

Author's Note

This is one of my favorites. However I feel like there's something that should be changed, added, deleted, any suggestions?

Reviews

[Pete]

this is quite good. there's a price for everything, even love. the wrestling match with self can be felt. the struggle with being torn comes through loud & clear. the weight. great word "pissy" - says so much. lots of raw feeling. ending is hopeful. honest feeling. nice work ... :)

[Eve]

Thank you so much. I was really trying for an honest feel for the poem. I wanted it to be like what was going through someone's brain when they were alone and thinking about a friend who doesn't know that she loves him.

[Onlyme]

The frailties of the human heart, mind and soul. So eloquently worded inside a wonderful, heartfelt poem.

[Eve]

Thank you so much for the review. Writing is how I express the things I don't have the courage to say. I discover things about how I'm really feeling by just letting my pencil move down the page.