dearest mom

 over and over

and time again i felt us slip away

why cant you listen?

why cant you feel my pain?

IM YOUR CHILD!

dont treat me this way!

you put me aside like spear change

does it matter if i cry?

"whatever!!" something you would say

in my mind i just want to walk away

but something holds me back cause you are my mother

but you take advantage 

and i start to lose hope again

 

 

Reviews

[Kameron Armitage]

I can feel the emotion, or what you attempted to portray. Maybe go back and try adding some imagery. Paint the readers a picture of what it looks like when you disagree or cry after a fight. Describe your feelings of devastation and the yearning to be loved and comforted by your mother. The eternal bond that keeps you together that has been loosened but needs to be pulled together once more. Has potential:)