06:23 AM

Sitting here feeling like a jigsaw puzzle who's last piece is long lost in the depths of time.

Feeling complete yet so un-complete at the same time, like something was ripped from me at birth leaving so that I'll never be mine.

Leading me on a forever search for something to complete me,
The drugs, the alcohol they are just cheap fillers can't you see?... temporary fixes to an eternal problem that take from me a great fee!

It's not even an effort to do these things anymore oh no its the total opposite, the worst you feel the more you want more.

Part impulse, part game, I wish I could say this next line was to keep me sane, that it had a deeper meaning other than escapism but I'd be lying if I did.

The hole is getting bigger the more I try fix it, subdue it, keep it from ripping my entire existence apart into a few faint memories dropping me back right at the start.

The longing for that missing piece is getting stronger and stronger by the hour.. minute...second.

Sometimes, sometimes I feel like I've found it but then it just drifts away again with the fish and tadpoles into the flow of this river we call life for me to find again.

Dont take this from me please..The Drugs, The Alcohol are all I have that gives me peace.