Chained

 

Flaming red eyes

staring out of blackness

watching, waiting

Chained to blackness

fighting to be freed

for one day in light

Cut by the dull blades

of those who just wants

to see it bleed for their fun

laughing as it falls

but not allowed by its

iron will to stay fallen

standing up for the one

     change to just

     see his fallen angel

     flying in the dark sun

     above him always

never able to reach

till these chains

are broken by

the same blackness

it is chained too

Reviews

[Natalie C]

I personally loved the use of the short sentences, just seemed to carry the emphasis of the darkness and despair wonderfully. You know one can so easily get chained by our demons, condemning ourselves to a life which none really deserve.

Loved the irony that played in the piece, writing about the fallen angel, soaring out of one's reach. It could mean so many things, but this is just me being all technical again. The world is filled with them, needing to be touched ...

Ok so I am over thinking this again...
But I really did love this piece!

[InkBlack]

Very suspenseful, vivid and beautiful. It was great! I could really feel the emotion of the victim.

The only thing you could probably edit the lining of the words like the lines between the "standing up for the one" and "never able to reach" lines. But if its meant to be that way, so be it. I'm not gonna tell you how to write your poems.

[Lestat's daughter]

I love it. Dark, almost depressing, well structured. You have me beat.

[Adela Muresan]

Wow. Great penning; the pain is tangible.
You should think about writing a story about this.


A.M.

[Laura Sparkle]

The constant struggle to grab, if even for a moment, what is just at our fingertips and willing to do anything to break what's holding us back. Am I way off? Probably am. Great imagery and nice darkness! :)

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

Great dark piece. Very vivid.