Chapter 08

The Universe conspired against itself and the beginning of times is lost and confused and only one Space Traveler accompanied with the first Transgender AI and a retired God must explore the Universe

Eight.

During the ambiguous timeline of the Universe there has been too many events that for one reason or another some of them have been told and, why not, perceived totally in a different way to how actually happened giving rise to theories like the Conspiracy one which I can assure is one of the few theories that became aware of herself and one of the most paranoid ones that ever existed, it’s rare meeting her but when one meets her, your vision that you may have about how the Universe works can change abruptly. Within these distorted perceptions of Universal events related to Planet Earth they all have a common point that links them and that point is named Bob, singular, unique and rather intense character that belongs to the circle of Deities assigned to Planet Earth. The Great Patermatter of the Universal Faith or which is the same as the Universal Institution responsible for assigning deities to each of the civilizations of the Universe, within its licensed religious set for the inhabitants of Planet Earth it was included Bob, a deity which was intended to be revered by early civilizations as the entity to provide them a good mud in exchange for a tribal dance, a very prosperous activity and a very important material for those early civilizations, but for Bob this was never to his liking, from his point of view he did not feel like a God of Mud, he wanted to help humanity and become a God to be remembered with good taste and not for providing a mix of soil and water so he asked for a reassignment to become God of Vacations. The thing is Bob didn’t consider that during the time when he was assigned to the Pantheon of humanity the concept of vacation in its fullest was not well developed at all and instead the God who came in replacement obtained excellent results by providing a good mud to early human societies building the base for future constructions for all the subsequent civilizations and she was able to retire early in her life spam to live quietly on a small island near the Mediterranean cultivating bananas and pineapples, she ended up having a juice and shakes company quite prolific that was acquired later on by a Multigalaxial Company expanding the market through the Universe.

Since Bob didn't have a lot of work, better say nothing at all, while the concept of vacations got invented he spent his time intruding into the activities of other Gods and his quite intense personality did not help him to make many friends, for his bad luck at the time vacations were stipulated and the first human took his first period rather than the need of a deity, the human entrusted to other more mundane activities like traveling or repairing that shelf that was months without fixing, such activities caused Bob to never fit entirely on matters of the human faith.

Resigned by his failed participation unable to act as a good God he spent his time hovering between Havens, Hells, Purgatories, Underworlds, Nirvanas and Valhallas trying to socialize as much as he could but because of his image of being conflicting and noisy it never helped him very much, sometimes the same imprudence not favoured him to be invited to the meetings and parties that the Gods had, he always came without being invited or came in disguised even thou the invitation said formal dress code, always left bread crumbs inside the punch, he dipped twice the chips and that writhed in the deepest bowels of Buddha, and he´s of the patient ones, and let´s not get into the issues of the heart because Bob managed perfectly the concept of "friend zone" with all Goddesses and his bad taste to flirt was never very subtle to put it in a nice way of speaking.

What is apparently certain is the participation of Bob in some of the key events of humanity and by that nurtured for centuries the Conspiracy Theory hunger so she really has Bob in good eyes. One of the occasions that practically gave her a feast was when supposedly Bob was not guilty of the destruction of the first era of humanity.

Society was going in a growing swing and perfect synchronicity where humans were a prominent and high expectations race, humanity lived in what is known as the continent of Mu hosting such a wonderful civilization that they were only a couple of centuries to accomplish great things in the Universe including their first trip through the Cosmos, but the fate of humanity did not account the presence of Bob. Everything happened at the engagement party between Isis and Osiris, this Gods threw a small reunion and well…felt obliged to invite him because he got a little bit depressed the last time he wasn’t invited.

Bob was Bob, and he took a little more than the usual punch mix that Dionysus brought to the event so Bob spent some time in the bathroom with these discomforts when you go pass over a few drinks without realizing that he left the toilet water running with paper in it. At this point we should clarify that the high drain of the Gods does not work the same as the ones from the inhabitants of the earth, the divine recycled wastewater is used to fill the depths of the oceans where some of the darkest and obscure living things are drawn from…, you can imagine what a God with stomach problems can flush in the toilet, so without a proper divine drain usage it could happen some pretty catastrophic things and this was no exception.

By the time the Department of Drainage and Circulation of Holy Water got the report of the problem it was too late causing a great flood that hit the Earth destroying the continent of Mu sinking Atlantis as well bringing humanity almost to extinction, fortunately other gods acted quickly taking over some scattering groups through the remainder of the planet. Humanity sacrifice what they have accomplished for so long, much of the stuff remained on the seabed and what little they could salvage got lost on the way, most knowledge was transmitted orally since all the technology and advances in communication was unusable resulting in humanity to be delayed many millennia having to start again from scratch new civilizations scattered throughout the world and with different gods in charge of them. No one really knew what happened that night at the party but some say that Bob was seen with a piece of toilet paper stuck on his feet while dancing his "special moves" in the middle of the dance floor.

Author's Note

© Copyright 2016 - All work is property of León Felipe Gual Bojalil, any duplication or reproduction of all or part of the work without explicit permission by the author is illegal.