Wrong turn

Tommy made the wrong turn what will happen to him?

                      As the rain was coming down Tommy thought that he was on the right road. The thing was that thing did not seemed to be what he had known. There was the fear that he was last on a road that he really did not want to be on. There was just a feeling that where ever this road did go that it was a place of pure evil. He knew that he had to find a place soon or he might crash, for Tommy had been on the road for what seemed like forever. As Tommy came over a hill , he saw a farm house he knew that  it was his only hope he just did not want to go on. So he made his way up the house, there was one thing that he thought was missing there was no cars around. There was a light in the living room window. As Tommy touched the door knob there was a cold chill that went down his back, it was the feeling that there was something bad in this house. As Tommy looked around he thought that he had seen the house some where maybe on the news. Then it hit him it was where that one man was killed and it was told they tried to take his soul. That could be the reason why he had felt such evil when he got to the house. It was said that the owner was a man that few knew, that he had keep to himself to that point when they found out what he was doing.

                        The more that Tommy looked over the house it was like there was something telling him where to go. As he went into the study  there was a man at the desk. He looked at Tommy but just did not say a word Tommy just looked at the man. Before he could ask who he was he just vanished into thin air, he knew that this was where he needed to be. There was the one question of why was he the one that had to be here, from the road to this place someone wanted Tommy to find something out. There on the desk he saw some papers that had blood on then, and there was a newspaper with the man`s picture on the news paper. The man that was at the desk was the man that was the owner. Tomas Brown was killed in the house but they never found out who had done it, and later the body just went missing. Tommy had a feeling he needed to go to the basement there he found some bones, and found out by a friend that knew about bones . That this   pill of bones was the owner  of the house that in fact , that he had faked his death but later was killed by someone that knew what he had done.

                     Tommy buried the bones he knew that was what he was ment to do, it was jus the feeling that he had as he went to his car. That there are thing that we do not know why we have to do them , that in the end that are something that help someone.

Reviews

[Lady Glitter]

This short story gripped and held my attention from the beginning, because I wanted to learn what happened. I would replace more of the words "Tommy" with "he" or descriptive terms that tell us more about him, such as "the nervous young student..." or "shivering to the bone, the new father..." or "the husky mechanic...". This breaks up the reading of "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy."

Though your story is somewhat run-of-the-mill, I liked it because it was interesting. This is not poetry, so there is no poetic license to use to overlook grammar and spelling errors. We all make mistakes; even me, though I am good at grammar and spelling. So this macabre story just needs to be cleaned up with additional editing sessions, and as you grow in your grammar and spelling skills.

You could make the title more compelling. I think it's similarity to a horror movie maybe, is what held my attention enough to read it. But in the same way, someone could be turned off from reading it, assuming what the story line is.

I really did like the ending. It was an ending and not, you know. It is true that sometimes we never know the reason that we are led to do or not do something. When we obey, we never know for whom the action is, but we feel fulfilled.

P.S. I think you meant "pile" of bones :)