Jr. Rat Race

Today, as usual, I�m jerked awake by the yells of my mother or the obnoxious ringing of a cell phone alarm. I remember when the sunlight used to creep into my window just to let me know that it was morning. When I�m up and finally dressed, I somehow convince myself to throw on a heavy bag and lumber over to the car. And it seems that I never quite get into the car, so much as walk into it unavoidably.
When I get to school I sit in my chair and slowly let the sleep drain from my veins. But that�s not as easy as it used to be. I remember when I used to go to school and the teacher fascinated me while I sat cross-legged at her feet. I was eager to learn because I didn�t know a thing and she knew everything. I had a new revelation every day and I was never tired. I�m just beginning to get accustomed to the light and the slight cold of the room. The teacher is telling us all what we�ll need to know for what seem to be a score of tests that we�ll be taking soon. The tests will quantify us; compare us to the rest of the city, or the state, or the country. It�s not really about learning anymore; it�s more about who has the better numbers. A high GPA is proudly represented on a sheet of paper that will be sent to the colleges we want to attend. The colleges and universities will review each of us with scrutiny. We are only as important as we can prove we are on paper.
It seems that on this particular day I have forgotten my notes. I ask a classmate if he would please share them with me because there�s a big test in history today and I can�t remember who it was that started the caste system in India. I�m flatly denied and I�m not mad because this person knows that if I use their notes then I might get a better score than them. Remember, it is only the best and brightest of the sheets of paper that get into college. I remember when help was free. I didn�t know then that one day a couple of sheets of notes would stand between his happiness and mine.
Things now are not the same as I remember them. I can�t really say I�ve had any revelations this week. Really all I hope for in a week is enough sleep to get me through the standardized testing with standards that are always changing. I�m usually tired, even in the late afternoon. I have an IN pile that never fully drains into my OUT one. Now that I think of it, I remember when it used to be that people had the luxury of getting old before they felt that way.