Breaking Down
A Poem by
Lee
Long
knock-down
drag
out
days
of
waiting
wondering
what
does it all
mean…
Pulled
in one
direction
led in
another
pushed
behind
toppled
over…
I
waited
you
gave
me
hope
your
words
telling
me
it
would all
be
worked
out
We’ll
pull it off
make it
work
one
foot in
front
of the
other
making
something
rational
of it
all
hang on
hold on
let go
come
back
I need
she
needs
no time
time’s
running out
not
enough
plenty
left
plus me
no
comment
back
off
check
it out
together
we’re
wonderful
we’re
too
far
apart
Come
now
wait
awihle
first
things first
a car
a job
a home
unstable
unable
life’s
in flux
just my
luck
you
don’t
call
you
promised
you
would
I know
you heard me
ring
I know
you did
Left me
hanging
waiting
planning
kept it
quiet
should
have run
had so
much to
say
so much
to
share
so much
to
give
Jason
said
He may
be
handsome
but
he’s
stupid
he
doesn’t
know
what
he’s
passing
up
good
woman
good
mind
big
heart
kind
soul
actions
speak
louder
than words
and the
silence
is
deafening…
I’ve
heard it all before…
© 2010 Lee
Featured Review
I like the stream of consciousness here, but it can become a tad erratic at times. And maybe this is your intention. I know I've had thoughts rambling through my brain like this on more than one occasion.
Typo here:
"Come now
wait awhle"
Interesting. Thanks for the read.
Posted 14 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Reviews
Wow! Well written,
I love the thoughts rambling and racing up.
this shown raw emotions and true.
good work :)
Posted 14 Years Ago
Wow! Well written,
I love the thoughts rambling and racing up.
this shown raw emotions and true.
good work :)
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
I like this! Dynamic and raw and female writing! Great one!
Posted 14 Years Ago
I like this! Dynamic and raw and female writing! Great one!
I loved the racing thoughts of this poem. It really put me in the mindset of loves lost, cracked romance and the feeling that life is falling apart at the seams. You set a tumbling mood and kept with it.
I really liked:
"Come now
wait awihle
first things first
a car
a job
a home
unstable
unable
life’s in flux
just my luck"
I could relate to it.
Posted 14 Years Ago
I loved the racing thoughts of this poem. It really put me in the mindset of loves lost, cracked romance and the feeling that life is falling apart at the seams. You set a tumbling mood and kept with it.
I really liked:
"Come now
wait awihle
first things first
a car
a job
a home
unstable
unable
life’s in flux
just my luck"
I could relate to it.
Very interesting Lee. I love it. The mix the thoughts in your head and what seems to be some words you shared makes it very real to me. I love the honesty of some of the sentences towards the situation / yourself. I can totally relate, and come to the same conclusion.
Thx for sharing
Posted 14 Years Ago
Very interesting Lee. I love it. The mix the thoughts in your head and what seems to be some words you shared makes it very real to me. I love the honesty of some of the sentences towards the situation / yourself. I can totally relate, and come to the same conclusion.
Thx for sharing
Thanks for catching the typo... The erratic ramblings seem to be how my brain works.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Posted 14 Years Ago
Thanks for catching the typo... The erratic ramblings seem to be how my brain works.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I like the stream of consciousness here, but it can become a tad erratic at times. And maybe this is your intention. I know I've had thoughts rambling through my brain like this on more than one occasion.
Typo here:
"Come now
wait awhle"
Interesting. Thanks for the read.
Posted 14 Years Ago
I like the stream of consciousness here, but it can become a tad erratic at times. And maybe this is your intention. I know I've had thoughts rambling through my brain like this on more than one occasion.
Typo here:
"Come now
wait awhle"
Interesting. Thanks for the read.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Author
Lee Eureka, CA
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Writer, photographer, knitter, educator, reader, music lover exploring this brave new world I live in
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