A glimpse into my life

A Story by lelahvay

I was born on December 24, 1992 to a 17-year-old girl who had only had sex once. Her father, my pawpaw, was a Pastor of a church in the area so my mother was well-known. My mother was still very young so she had her times of being a "good mother" and times where she would rather live her life as it was before me. We all lived with my grandparents and they all loved me very much.

A few years later, my mothers baby brother was killed in a car accident at the age of 18. He was riding in the passenger seat with a driver who was high from smoking marijuana. The driver was impaired and it lead to my Uncle Troy's life being taken too soon. My grandparents lost their only son, my mother and aunt lost their only brother and best friend, and I lost the only uncle I would ever know.

As I got older, my mother started dating a lot. You see, she was never confident within herself so she needed a man to tell her she was beautiful, etc. As a child, she was molested several times (the area was that bad.) Because she relied on men to make her feel good, she would do anything they asked. Which potentially lead to her drug use.

Making this way shorter than it was, I was in and out of random mens homes as a child. Kidnapped at the age of 4, I was shown things that would taunt my childhood. So, when I reached the age of 5 my grandparents took me under their wing.

My mother met a man when I was in the 2nd grade. We all liked him! Soon after, my mom was hooked on crack cocaine because he had introduced it to her. When they split, he was out of the picture, but my mother was left with an addiction that would always come back until it has ran its course..

After sobering up, she moved in with my aunt and got her a waitress job to get back on her feet. Walking home one night, she was taken and raped. Nine months later, she had my baby brother.

A few months later she met a wonderful man. He was a bank broker so he had money. Nice, well dressed and educated. About a year later, we noticed behavioral changes and surely she was addicted again. The man took up and left one day with everything they had (her furniture, her clothing, her security...). Once again, the man leaves and she is left with an addiction that will always resurface.

She hits rock bottom and is sentenced to a Christian rehab (the only place that has ever helped her). After a year, she gets out and is clean for two years!! She was finally my mother, my best friend, my everything..

In 2012, I was packed and ready to move off to college. I was checking the shed for anything that I had missed. That is when I found the pipes and residue of drugs. This time it was methamphetamine.

My mom was thrown in prison. While there, she sobered up and was becoming herself again. She wrote me countless, beautiful, inspiring letters every week. I could not wait for her to get out and start fresh.

December 2013 she was released from prison and my Fiance and I took off to Florida to see her. Unfortunately, my mother was not planning on coming home because..... she had met a man. My grandparents went to the bus station and begged her to come home to her children. Finally she did, but she was not what I had expected. She was mentally ill.

A week later she went to a transition home in Daytona so that she could get back up on her feet. Days later, she runs away and is back with the same man who she was going to leave with when she was released from prison.

Today, my mother is on her last string of life. She lives from crack house to crack house. She abuses drugs daily and is beaten to unconsciousness almost daily. She is not only addicted to drugs but has a mental problem that is irreparable. She has no reasoning, no guilt, and no sense of time.

I have left out a lot of my life story (on purpose) because some of it is too hard for readers to handle. Going through the life I have has left me with depression, separation anxiety, countless hurt, etc. It has also left me with a relationship with God, an understanding of other people's pain, and a very strong backbone to life. I would urge anyone who has just read my story to stop and think about the way you treat those around you. Do you judge them? When you say their name are you talking ugly about them? Everyone has a story that you are not aware of. My mother was once the most beautiful, godly woman I have ever met.

I am hurt but I am thankful for what I have been through because if I had not, I would not be the strong-willed and loving person that I am today.