Wishing With A Wounded Heart

Maybe Elphaba was right, maybe wishing does only end in a wounded heart 

My heart may be unbreakable, but it doesnt mask the fact that my soul has been thrown into the dark depths of the ocean

Where little crabs waddle on top of it, til eventually my soul is so severely scratched it's unrecognizable 

But you know what I wanna know? 

Who invented this thing called love? 

Who ever thought it was a good idea to create something that would make you so excited, so happy and so hopeful

And within days make you feel like an empty pit of despair 

But yet relentlessly clinging onto any little, tiny glimmer of hope, of possibility if the pain that you read was intact just an imagination led by doubt 

How silly was I? 

What on earth was I thinking? 

That miracles could happen? That if I dreamt hard enough my wishes would become reality?

I'm so stupid to believe that my world would change

That if I believed in infinite possibilities the world would hear me

There was a time the universe spoke to me

He was wise and encouraging 

But one day he pushed me off a mountain 

And I landed in a daze upon the gravely hill side 

Feeling foolish that I ever tried to climb in the direction of the celestial sky in the first place 

How can wishing one day feel so miraculous and wonderful 

Like the sweetest slice of tiramisu ever tasted , but than in the next moment feel so utterly ridiculous 

And embarrassing that I just want to crawl into my little lonely shell and sleep 

Where I am reminded that there is not a more painful feeling

Than the feeling of loneliness