Catastrophe

You came into my life

When it was burnt to ashes

Loved me back to life

Until you didn’t; so it crashes

After the hoping

It’s just me again..

“I wish that I was good enough”

Hits me again

And again

And again..

I miss you..

And I know my friends keep telling me to forget you

God knows it’s not easy

How can I forget you 

And you were the Mario to my Luigi

But it’s starting to feel more like Ouija

I’m calling out your name

But you don’t answer

Moving my hands from left to right

Only to hear your laughter

There’s no love spell that can inflame you back to me 

So full of anger

You were worst than Jack to me

He broke my heart

But you were an actual heart-attack you see; I can physically feel my heart getting darker

Depression became a friend not a monster

But I’m tired of thinking 

“How can he feel my pain

And yet still choose to play me”

I honestly blame me

You put my hands in the honey pot

Only to sting me

Pain is what you brought

How did you even win me?

Blue & red aesthetic

Wrapped in sweet Lotus 

Blowing smoke rings

It’s so hard to focus

No time for logic

I inhale the smoke as I taste your venom; Smudged lipstick 

The dynamics of how you rise & I blossom

Makes this separation hit like brick

To the head

Did you love me

Or you only loved yourself instead? 

It’s ironic how you made love a death-bed

After you promised that the heartbreak-virus won’t spread

Now I’m beyond infected

My heart is unusable; you wrecked it

Unable to love

Unable to trust 

Unable to feel

God I want to feel

But you made me doubt what’s fake & what’s even real

Do I have to sign a deal?

Sell my soul

In order to heal

Will I ever heal?.. 

Can’t unbox my days

You broke the seal 

I want a refund

To all the times we’ve spent

I want to untell everything I’ve vent

But it’s too late now

You’re forever living in my head; rent-free

All the tears I own I’ve shed

So set me free

From this catastrophe