Hollow Trees

I can say anything against hollow trees

still and discerning  rupturing

disappointments

 

one by one, two by two,

a thousand by avalanches of disdain staining

 

green never stays as leaves deaden and

dry, they crackle underneath bare feet

 

and bleeds the screams streaming

to nowhere but by leafless hollow trees,

feeling just like me

 

 

Reviews

[Misa]

Interesting poem, but a little vague for my taste. Felt like certain parts were known only to you, which means the reader kind of gets left out. Main lines that seemed like this were last line of second stanza - disdain staining - and "bleed the screams streaming."
you've got a good rhythm with these words, but l want to know why you chose them, what theyr'e supposed to make me feel. Why the screaming, and who's doing the screaming? some good imagery, though. Just needs a bit of fleshing out, l think if possible.