Time

Does your time count?

Were my time to cease right now, would it matter?

Had every cent been counted accurately

Did every cost meet the parallel value

Was my Pandora's box locked tightly enough 

Are all of my secrets safe, even beyond my time

Will the lasting legacy justify my choices

Is the paint vivid enough to illustrate the abstracts I've lived by

Will my body burn bright enough to cast light on the 

dark places, empty spaces, and hallow crevices 

Could I go in peace if I knew my mission was complete

Is there ever a right time to say goodbye?

To walk away with a high head and broad chest

To each his own answer, but just be honest

We want forever, but that we don't deserve

Worlds before and after, the light shines, the bell tolls

And it's done. 

So from this moment and forward, we'll take the day for its worth

And let go of the promise of tomorrow and forever.

Reviews

[Ramya]

Love the so many diverse references that you have pulled into this poem. My favourite lines:
"Is the paint vivid enough to illustrate the abstracts I've lived by"
"Will my body burn bright enough to cast light on the
dark places, empty spaces, and hallow crevaces"
"Could I go in peace if I knew my mission was complete"

Beautiful! If you could just tweak the spelling of crevaces - either crevices or crevasses, i guess? :)

[Laura Maidah]

You have some punctuation issues. An example: Why is the question mark at the end of the first line? Doesn't it run to the next line? Maybe I misinterpreted the meaning, in which case, the second and third lines are missing question marks. Not every poem is punctuated, but maybe stay consistent? It's a good read, though. Thanks:)

[w]

Nice piece.

I would say that it could possibly benefit from some separation. Not traditional stanzas by any means, but something that allows the piece to flow a little easier. Reading it aloud (which all free verse should be) it hiccups in places:
"Will my body burn bright enough to cast light on the
dark places, empty spaces, and hallow crevices"

Also no punctuation is stylish right now, but not my style. With punctuation it makes it easier to find where you intended a breath to be taken, unless you want no breath to be taken in which case that could be emphasized by a single period at the end of the piece.

[Katrina Mckeown]

just beautiful, love your style!

[kayla]

This was an insprational poem, with lots of hope and well-written descriptions. I enjoyed reading it, and welcome to WritersCafe(: