Pencils and Paper Make Me Sad

Got writers block? Yeah me, too! -_-

There were a few crumpled paper balls on the floor
Her dreams of getting away seemed just as that: dreams
The feelings she felt, she couldn’t do it anymore
Her heart was beginning to tear at the seams.

 

There were 20 crumpled paper balls on the floor

The more ideas she came up with, the less she knew

The blank paper would stare back, almost like a lure

All she wanted was a mental breakthrough

 

There were 40 crumpled paper balls on the floor

The stench of failure followed her everywhere

Her mind was being swept away like the waves on the ocean shore

All of herself was being lost, and she did not care.

 

There were 60 crumpled paper balls on the floor

She was at the point now of becoming a cheerful pessimist

She continuously thought, there is nothing left to write for

Yet she still wrote, checking things off her writing to-do list.

 

There were 80 crumpled paper balls on the floor

Now all she wanted to do was shut up like a telescope-if she only knew how to begin

Writing things were now as useless as a pilot who feared heights

She then started to pack all her pencils, pens, and notebooks in a plastic bin.

 

There were 100 crumpled paper balls on the floor

Now her room looked like a sea of balled-up dreams

While it was actually just a sea of poor ideas, waiting to be contained.

She just stared at the walls, then the ceiling; nothing amused her.

 

There were now no crumpled paper balls on the floor

She was only slightly sad, as the turned and packed her bags.

Tears streaming as she turned and opened the apartment door

There stood her beloved, 2 coffee cups and a simple reason to brag.

 

There were now 2 people sitting on the floor

Laughing, smiling, and telling long-ago stories

They looked at one another with such intent, then,

Her eyes opened wide, she sat up and whispered, “I have an idea!”

Reviews

[William Gardner]

I miss paper. We used to do so many things with paper, and now I don't even know if I have any. This piece has a quick and easy readability and a nice progression. I enjoyed how she came through all of the stages of grief locked up and then with acceptance and joy came the freedom of ideas. Thank you

[maricoona91]

Hi!
The ending is really great! I can relate so much to this poem and my trials with having a NEED to write and many times the feeling of being blocked. It is truly a stressful and spiritually painful reality!

I like that there seems to be 2 different mind frames or attitudes or states of mind. For awhile this person is stuck in a really negative state of mind and then at the end, it changes with the help of a friend and positive thinking. The positivity leads to creation! Yay!
Thanks for sharing,
Marina

[surething]

Thank you for the generous comment! There were 2 mind frames, and I wanted to make a very simple point across. Look at how much of the poem is that negative mind set and look how little of the poem is positive. That is my life in whole, not even in a nutshell. When we do get that positive, or when I do, it seems to completely erase all the negative I have in my life for that moment.

[Kelly Scheppers]

There IS a happy ending...so it really was worth the wait!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes she might unravel those balled up pieces of paper...and find inspiration with whatever might have been written there...throwaway ideas often become repossessed...

or maybe a third cup of coffee and a good laugh...and then, boom.

really fun poem about a frustrating topic...the block.

j.

[surething]

She has never done that as she thought that all of her old ideas were bad. I think she might give that a go, thank you

[alifeacoustic]

Inspiration always comes when least expected. Everyone knows the feeling that sits within as you see those crumpled balls of paper grow. The mind lurch that a cog has slipped and no thoughts connect is a stubborn and unwelcome guest.
Great write on not writing :)

[surething]

Thank you so much!